Gnomeless by Jennifer Zane

Author:Jennifer Zane [Zane, Jennifer]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Published: 2014-02-05T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

“Marcus pressed his hard, chiseled body into hers, all rock hard planes into soft, milky white flesh. His cock was like a steel beam that pulsed at the entrance of her love channel, ready to bore its way into her like a mole in a hole.”

I sat behind the counter at Goldilocks reading aloud from the freshly printed pages of Goldie's romance novel. At least the early parts. I'd made it three pages and I was horrified. “Mole in a hole?” I repeated, looking up from her manuscript.

Goldie was putting pricing stickers on the flavored body paints. She wore a bright pink fleece pullover with black pants, black boots. Her blondish hair was pulled back in a twist, big gold earrings with sparkly pink stones dangled down her neck. She looked up at me and sniffed, contemplated. “I guess that might not be the best metaphor.”

“I think you have too many in once sentence. Steel beam, love channel, mole in a hole. It sounds like a bad ride at an amusement park.”

Swipe, the sticker went on. Swipe. “I'll change that part. Keep going.”

“Eloise looked up with trusting eyes at her first lover. Could she handle his girth? Could she control her wonton lust? Her bed was now a place of passion, not just sleep.”

Swipe, swipe. “What's wrong with that?”

This was a side of Goldie I'd never seen before. For a woman who knew so much about sex, she couldn't write about it to save her life.

“Wonton lust? It's wanton. Wanton. Not wonton. That's the kind of soup you get at a Chinese restaurant.”

Swipe, swipe, swipe. “Fine. You read me some of yours. Make sure it's the steamy, wonton part,” she said sarcastically.

My cell beeped notifying me of a text. It was from my friend, John, who was doing the repairs to the fire damage in my kitchen. House finished tomorrow. Get inspector and insurance agent scheduled for approval.

“My house will be fixed tomorrow. I can move back probably the day after.” I told Goldie, happy to get my house back.

She smiled, “Good. What a scary thing. Fortunately the fire was confined to the one area.”

“Yeah, it was time for a kitchen upgrade anyway,” I replied. I had liked the room just as it was, completely vintage and outdated, but having smoke and fire damage forced me into modernizing.

It had been two long weeks and I was tired of being homeless.

“Come on, don't distract me from your story with your sad case about your house catching fire,” Goldie said jokingly.

I rolled my eyes as a customer came through the door, approached the counter. “Ben wah balls?” the man asked. Mid-twenties, goatee, heavy winter coat and hat.

I pointed to the back corner and he retreated. Picking up my own papers, I skimmed for the sex part. “Okay, here we go.” I cleared my throat, darted my eyes to the guy searching out the ben wah balls hoping he wasn't listening. “They were both dripping wet from the thundershower that had surprised them.

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