Frisk: A Novel (Cooper, Dennis) by Dennis Cooper

Author:Dennis Cooper
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Published: 2008-09-30T20:21:00+00:00

"Maybe ... if I hadn't seen this ... snuff. Photographs. Back when I was a kid. I thought the boy in them was actually dead for years, and by the time I found out they were posed photographs, it was too late. I already wanted to live in a world where some boy I didn't personally know could be killed and his corpse made available to the public, or to me anyway. I felt so ... enlightened?

"Or maybe it wasn't feeling at all, but shock or numbness or ... I don't know. I think of it as religious. Like insane people say they've seen God. I saw God in those pictures, and when I imagine dissecting you, say, I begin to feel that way again. It's physical, mental, emotional. But I'm sure this sounds psychotic and ... oh, blah, blah, blah, blah."

Pierre shrugs. "It's sort of sad," he says. I take a breath, let it out. "Probably." He eases off the bed, spends a half minute stretching, fingers to toes, swiveling side to side. "It was kind of pointless to explain myself," I announce, smiling badly. "Still, better you than my journal, I guess. And you really are beautiful, but I've said that a hundred times." Pierre shrugs. "Thanks."

He pulls the bathroom door shut, feeling stiff and hard to operate. He hadn't noticed how stiff until now. Plus, he looks pinker, shinier than usual. "And sticky." He walks to the toilet, arms straight out like Frankenstein. Then he unwraps a glass, fills it with piss, which is orangy from all the vitamin B's he gulps. Then he squirts the extra piss into the sink, turns on cold.

He sits on the toilet, pushes a turd out, stands, yanks a handful of TP and wipes himself. The turd floats in the blue water, reeking. Pierre tries to inhabit the thoughts of someone who'd think shit is a message from someone who laid it, but he's too fucking normal and too deeply into hustler-robot mode. He wonders if I want the TP kept separate, then thinks, Who cares, drops it into the bowl.

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