Forgive Me by Freed Eliza

Author:Freed, Eliza [Freed, Eliza]
Language: eng
Format: azw3, epub
Tags: Romance, Contemporary Women, Contemporary, Fiction, Coming of Age, General
ISBN: 9781455583553
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Published: 2014-11-03T16:00:00+00:00

I rally in time to explore the city. We steer clear of Bourbon Street, expecting it to smell worse than trash day in New Brunswick, and mosey through the historic streets of New Orleans. We stop for catfish po’ boys and beers when we’re hungry, and as long as the conversation remains I don’t think about Jason Leer. Well, I am actually consumed by thoughts of him, but if we keep talking I can keep it together.

By 3 p.m. we find St. Charles Street and realize many people are already lining up for tonight’s Bacchus Parade. We find second row spots in front of a bar and decide to stake it out. Having been raised on Salem County’s Fourth of July Parade, I’m not prepared for Bacchus. As in, I am in shock. The Salem County parade is fire trucks, and horses, and tractors decorated in red, white, and blue. Children line the streets, in which there is plenty of space, to catch candy thrown from the floats. It is gentle, and quaint, and entirely Main Street.

The Bacchus Parade is an entirely different animal. People perch on ladders with chairs beneath them. By the time the parade starts I can see nine people deep behind me. A family befriends Jenn and lets us into their party. It is here, amongst our new family, that Jenn broaches the subject of Jason Leer.

“How exactly do you see this ending?” She doesn’t have to elaborate. There’s only one thing I care about ending in the world. Not this parade, not this trip, not my life, but me and Jason Leer.

“I don’t see it ending,” I answer, and see Julia leaning in to hear the conversation.

“What? Do you guys have no hope this is going to work out?” I ask both of them. “I love him,” I say, and the desperation in my voice scares me. It must scare Jenn, too, because she waits several minutes before she says another word.

“I just think you’ve already been through a lot. I will kill him if he hurts you.”

“I think I’m the one hurting him,” I say, unexcited by the giant Baccasaurus in front of us. “I keep telling him he’s all I want, but I do things that completely contradict that statement.” I’m hit in the head with beads and our new family thinks we’re crazy having this quiet conversation in the midst of complete hysteria. The crowd is a steady scream as the largest and most colorful floats I’ve ever seen depict music, TV, fashions, and sports from the last forty years.

“Maybe things would be easier if you both realized it’s possible to want more than one thing,” Julia offers as a glimmer of hope. “That rarely works out, but it’s possible, I guess.” The gilded armor of the knights on horseback is followed by a band with flaming music stands coming down the street, each carrier with a propane tank hooked to his back, and again I marvel that I am not in Salem County anymore.

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