Finding Peace, One Piece at a Time by Rachel Blythe Kodanaz

Author:Rachel Blythe Kodanaz
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Fulcrum Publishing
Published: 2019-10-06T16:00:00+00:00

THE SIX PILES

PILE #1 – KEEP

The KEEP pile is the most sentimental of the piles, consisting of all the items you would like to hold on to for yourself or your children. These are special items that have been part of your or your loved one’s life journey. They tell a specific story and preserve special memories for you.

When sorting through Rod’s belongings, I was able to part ways with his clothes at a steady pace. His T-shirt collection provided an emotional journey down memory lane, so I struggled a bit over what to keep and what to share. I felt less of a connection to his suits, shoes, and other work clothes, which allowed me to box those items without hesitation. Once I found a rhythm, I was able to choose what I wanted for myself and what I thought my daughter would appreciate in the future. The remaining items of clothing were placed in the DONATE PILE. I will admit, my KEEP and PONDER PILES (see pp. 89 and 113) swelled as I added more items than I thought I wanted; however, this was my first pass, and I knew I could revisit both piles in the future. My suggestion, then, is when in doubt, keep it; be cautious about not giving items away too fast. You will find that it is much easier to take a second pass than try to track down a donated item.

As I created my KEEP PILE, I struggled most with what I called the “nonconventional” items. These were things that didn’t belong in the trash but had no purpose for anyone else – in some cases, including me. They were seemingly random pieces of Rod that I wanted to save so I could hold on to him forever. My friends and family must have thought I was pretty peculiar when they saw some of the items in my KEEP PILE. It didn’t matter, it wasn’t about them, it was about me (and Rod). The pile of the nonconventional items became the genesis of Rod’s box – my treasured memorial of Rod and his life. To this day, each time I open the box, I am able to see him, feel him, smell him, and just be with him. The box also serves as an introduction to the people who never met Rod, including my husband, Taner, who has learned so much about Rod from the box. At the time, even I thought it was a bit odd when I added a variety of what seemed to be arbitrary items to the box, but now I am so thankful that I listened to my heart, not logic. Each item is neatly placed in the box, and on top, there is a pair of salmon-colored children’s shoes. I have been asked many times why I would save a pair of little girl’s shoes in a memory box for Rod. For me the answer is simple, although the reason is complicated: my daughter was wearing those shoes the day Rod passed.

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