Fierce Joy by Susie Caldwell Rinehart

Author:Susie Caldwell Rinehart [Rinehart, Susie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781633539891
Publisher: Mango Media
Published: 2019-03-13T16:00:00+00:00

Facing the Storm

When a huge storm of change and uncertainty approaches, it’s almost impossible to know how to respond. If we are still standing, call it a success. But then what? We can resist the challenge before us or we can accept it and change the only thing in our control: our response. Once we see the problem before us as necessary, uncomfortable, but also potentially transformative, the way forward becomes clear. We don’t have to know what to do before we begin. We only have to be open and curious.

Consider the ways that helped me to put one foot in front of the other:

• Get quiet and be alone. Find a safe space to listen to your fears and your inner strength.

• Feel all of your feelings. Name them (truck on my chest, pit in my belly, rock on my shoulders). My favorite is “red-hot rage in my throat.” I kick trash cans and slam doors; the more you give yourself permission to feel all emotions, the more capacity you’ll have to feel joy.

• Separate pain from suffering. Pain is real. It is loss, sickness, injury, and heartbreak. Suffering is what we do to ourselves with our habit of worrying and imagining worst-case scenarios. Don’t add suffering to pain. There is already too much suffering in the world as it is. Decide to choose joy over fear.

• Trust. Remember times when things worked out, despite the odds. Your wallet was returned to you. The car didn’t run out of gas. You found somewhere else to live. The dog came home. The more you accept that the universe has your back, and that you are not in control, the easier a challenge becomes. You still work hard, get help from others, and learn from mistakes, but then lie back and float. The water will hold you.

• Come up with a mantra. Repeat it to yourself (all will be well, brave over perfect, temporary pain, long-term gain, the best is yet to come). Say it often, especially before each step forward, the same way you pause to make a wish before blowing out birthday candles.

• Tell your community. You can tell one trusted person at a time, or all at once. You never know who can help. I believe this is why we’re here: to walk through hard times together.

• Create a list of things that make you feel light, supported, and strong. Don’t keep the list in a drawer. Pick the first thing on the list and ask someone for help with it. Or, give the list to a trusted friend and have that person do the asking until you’re ready to do it yourself. (On my list, I included things that didn’t help such as, “Don’t ask me questions.” You could add, “Don’t give me advice,” or “Please only visit if you fold laundry.”)

• Gratitude is the guardian of happiness. Each day, name one thing that makes you feel grateful. Avoid general ones, like “my life.” Use your five senses and get specific. “I’m grateful for the sound of rain on the roof.

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