F*ck Anxiety by Lauren Douglas

Author:Lauren Douglas
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
Published: 2022-03-29T17:05:21+00:00

How to

Forgive Someone

You Want to Slap

Do you ever say, “It’s okay,” when it’s obviously NOT okay and you want to throat-punch a bitch? Or do you simmer and stew and still have a steaming hot vendetta against the boy who pushed you in third grade? Congratulations! You don’t know how to forgive. But we forgive you for that. Because, really, almost no one knows how to do it all the time. Forgiveness, like apologizing, is a lost art, and the sucker punch of it all is that if you struggle to apologize to and forgive others, you’ll be SOL to really forgive yourself, too.

But why should you let something go when you’ve been Wronged? Or why should you not spit out that “It’s cool” that you don’t really mean, just to dispel a conflict? Well, it’s like swiping concealer over a volcano-sized zit. It pushes the problem back temporarily, but it always doubles back to clog all your other pores, trigger a full-on lava spew, and maybe even leave a literal scar. And tons of studies show that true forgiveness boosts empathy, lowers stress, and increases your Angel Quotient by up to 23 percent. One research team found that holding onto feelings of being wronged puts literal stress on your heart and tension in your face.

With all this evidence, choosing forgiveness seems like the obvious choice, but getting to real, deep, meaningful forgiveness is not as easy as just wanting it. This road will definitely have its bumps, and you may have to take it in chunks. (Breaks allowed for slapping a pillow so you don’t slap the forgivee.) And while forgiving someone else is hard, forgiving yourself can be even harder, so we’ve broken down both situations below.

How to Forgive Others

People suck, it’s true. But ruminating on their mistakes hurts you more than it hurts them, and that’s some cruel karmic bullshit. Here are some things to remember while digging deep into your kindness reserves and resisting the urge to deck the nearest idiot.

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