Falling Hard for the Royal Guard by Megan Clawson

Author:Megan Clawson [Clawson, Megan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Published: 2022-12-19T12:00:00+00:00

Chapter 13

It takes me another few days before I can face Tinder again. The Grenadier Guards still haven’t been back to the Tower since I last saw them at the ravens’ roll call. Each morning on the way to work, I take the same route through the courtyard, looking out for the bright white plumes stuck into their bearskins. And every morning I am disappointed. I tell myself it’s because I could really use Riley and Walker’s cheery double act, and Mo’s advice on how not to get catfished by old men on the internet right about now. But Freddie still lingers on my mind.

Despite the fact I caught him making a note of my phone number after the party in the Mess and despite the fact that he said that he’d call, I haven’t heard from him once. I suppose I should be grateful. He has made the whole ‘learning from my mother’s mistakes’ thing much, much easier.

I have decided that since I have told no one about the incident with Catfish Caleb, and the only people who know are the patrons of a pub that I will never again visit in my life, I have no reason to be embarrassed. So, I’m going to try again, learning from my mistakes. Plus, Samantha and Andy have spent all morning talking about the many men and women they have falling at their feet. Andy goes to the extra effort to speak fortissimo when telling our colleagues that none other than my ex-boyfriend has been in and out of her inbox whilst he thankfully avoids mine. Frankly, if two people who share the personality of a toothbrush with an attitude problem can find someone to love them, then there’s surely some hope for me still.

Clicking open the app, I take a moment to block and report Caleb, and, pushing down the lingering feelings of shame that seeing his photos reignites, begin swiping. When a tourist looks on course for the window of my booth, I duck down behind my desk and they luckily divert to Andy, who I hear audibly groan.

Quickly it becomes apparent that the profiles are just a cycle of the same few distinct characters on a loop. First up, the ‘fuckboy’: usually vaping or flashing off his clenched jawline, in jeans so tight that they should belong to his little sister, and a bio along the lines of ‘here for a good time, not a long time’ with a variation of the creepy sideways-glance emoji. Then there’s the ‘car guy’: always stood beside a car that clearly isn’t his, followed by more photos of exhaust pipes than his own face, and a bio that is full of jargon I can’t understand – about cars, obviously. The ‘peaked in uni guy’ comes up a lot too; his photos are almost all taken in some strange fancy dress or in a club, clutching vibrantly coloured alcopops, and they include the name of the university in their bios too, just so you don’t forget that they have some degree you didn’t even know existed.

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