Eviternity: (Augarten Epilogue) by Charlie Godwyne

Author:Charlie Godwyne [Godwyne, Charlie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2022-11-01T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

In a vision of my most recent past self as Michel, Myrddin Emrys, I stood on the other side of a door. Though the door was unlocked, I dared not go in. I'd really messed up this time. After years of angsting about what to do in regards to my grandfather's best friend, a man thirty-five years my senior, I'd taken things into my own hands and made my first mistake in magic, and a very dangerous one at that.

I'd approached a fertility goddess out of the blue, without taking the time to establish a relationship with her. I'd assumed that since I came offering a gift that she would be amenable. I'd offered her my sex drive, thinking that if she took it away from me, I'd be able to handle being around Robert Ian Jones and not angsting and lusting after him all the time. And the goddess would get the energy of one man's sex drive, that life force to put towards whatever she chose.

It didn't occur to me that I might offend her.

She'd taken my ability to get erections, and left my sex drive as-is. To teach me a lesson, surely, for it was a punishment I'd be unable to ignore. Now my desire would burn but there was no way to funnel it into any kind of physical release.

Frightened, I'd finally gone to Robert about it and told him the whole thing. He'd become furious and shouted at me for the first time I could ever recall, and now here I was on the other side of his door.

"I know you're there, Emrys," Robert said softly from inside.

"Can I come in?" I asked.

"Yes," he said after a moment.

I went in and Robert Ian pushed out in his office chair, the journal he sometimes wrote in sitting on the table. I remembered trying to read it when I was young, and him scolding me for it, though it hadn't compared to his shouting today. Today had been anger that barely concealed his fear that I could have died, had the goddess chosen to teach me a lesson that ended this incarnation.

I wanted to run to him like I had as a boy, to ebulliently jump into his lap and hold him in my arms, knowing he would always return the hug and sit with me for as long as I liked. I'd spent my childhood hugging this man and following him around. Because of the abuse I'd suffered before Rhys rescued me and brought me to Wales, the boarding school had allowed me to sleep with Robert until I'd finally quit having nightmares in the dorm and waking up screaming. The adults in my new life had indulged me and let me sleep in the bed with him, and now that I had studied magic for some years, I understood that I had been etherically starved and Robert had nourished me with his life force, giving as much as I needed. Rhys had done that with me, too.

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