Everything I've Done by Kalila Black

Author:Kalila Black [Black, Kalila]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Kingston Publishing Company
Published: 2022-03-27T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter 19

Gideon

I lean back in my chair, sliding my feet from underneath Kaia’s warm belly. She and Ichabod have been dozing at my feet, completely worn out from playing. Taking a long sip of water, I listen to Anthony tell everyone about Josie’s first word.

“So, of course my hands are soap-covered, right? So the glass just slips right out of my grip, and boom, it shattered on the floor. Glass everywhere. I’m petrified that Josie is going to move and step on a piece, so naturally, the first thing that pops out of my mouth is ‘damn it!’ I kid you not, Josie looks up at me, dead serious, not moving a muscle and turns into a little parrot. ‘Damn it!’ flew right out of those sweet, innocent little lips. All I could think was ‘Lily’s gonna kill me’.”

“Which I clearly didn’t,” Lily says, spooning another bite of yogurt into Josie’s mouth. “Although I won’t lie, I contemplated it, for teaching my baby such filth.”

“I kept her from getting cut, though.”

“Which is why you’re still breathing,” Lily smiles sweetly at him.

Everyone laughs, including Josie, which makes the rest of us laugh more.

Conversation moves on, and I focus my gaze on Kacey. Her skin is sun-kissed, natural blonde highlights giving her hair a lustrous shine. God, I want to run my fingers through it, see if it’s as silky as I imagine. I’ve missed her so much.

I still think that being honest with her about the mistake I made was the right call, but I no longer think that it was the death knell of our relationship. That connection, that spark between us, it’s still there. I think it might take a while for her to forgive me, and honestly, I deserve that. But I think that we can get there, and I sure as hell know that she’s worth waiting for.

I hit a low point six months ago, after my night with Sparkles. For all the work I had done on myself, I realized that I still very much did not like the person that I was. I was still too quick to jump directly to self-destructive behavior, and although I had held down the same job for over a year (a new accomplishment for me), it hardly seemed to count, since I was employed by my own father.

Even if I hadn’t completely fucked up with Kacey, what would I have to offer her? I could barely afford the rent on my cheap little house, never mind helping Kacey find the home of her dreams. I had hit a wall, and I realized there was no way I was going to become the man I want to be if I didn’t get out of the rut. So the work began, and while I would have given anything to see Kacey, to tell her that I never meant to hurt her, that I would never hurt her again, I knew I needed time to prove to myself that I wasn’t going to backslide again.

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