Everything I Never Wanted to Be by Dina Kucera

Author:Dina Kucera
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub, pdf
Tags: recovery
ISBN: 9780982579466
Publisher: Smashwords Edition
Published: 2010-10-01T05:00:00+00:00

That day, April invited the boyfriend to the new place. Weeks later we moved her again after another drunken, drug-fueled assault. But she invited him to the new place again. She said we simply had to support the fact that they were in love and were going to be together forever—or at least until he murdered her. We said we would not support her in this violent relationship. Shortly after that, he beat her again. So we moved her again. And April invited him over again. Not surprisingly, he beat her again. And we moved her again.

All in all, we moved April four times in less than a year. It only ended because the boyfriend went to prison for a prior conviction. Thank God for prior convictions.

But by the time the boyfriend went to prison, April’s relationship with us was very strained. One evening, extremely intoxicated, she became angry with us, busted out all the windows on the front of our house, and then drove her SUV into the back of our Jeep, smashing it into the closed garage door. We had her arrested.

It was a bad night, and it was all because of alcohol. April may be aggressive when she’s not drinking, but she never in a million years would have broken out our windows and rammed our car if she was sober. She is so, so gorgeous, and so intelligent. But the alcohol is going to sink her.

It’s no different than Carly using heroin. Many people feel that alcohol is different from drugs, but it’s the same. The only difference is that the commercials for alcohol are better. Alcoholics end up cradling the toilet just like heroin addicts. One isn’t more glamorous than the other. They both suck.

My heart feels sad because these days it’s hard for me to find April even when I’m looking right at her. I miss that funny little girl who would lend me money from her piggy bank and say, “I’m going to lend this to you, BUT there will have to be a little extra come my way when I get it back. I’m not a bank.” She was ten. I was borrowing money from a ten-year-old.

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