Every Last Drop: A Novel by Sarah Robinson

Author:Sarah Robinson [Robinson, Sarah]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780999546963
Published: 2019-11-11T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twenty-Two

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

“I can’t believe the nerve of that pompous jackass.” Kyle stomped around the bungalow’s kitchen after we’d returned home. “He’s a doctor. He’s supposed to help ease suffering—not add to it!”

I didn’t respond. He wasn’t looking for me to talk sense into him. He wanted to vent and I was more than fine with letting him.

My sister, on the other hand, was clearly itching to speak from where she sat next to me on a stool at the counter. “He could have been more tactful, but I think he’s right,” Elly finally said.

The hell? I swivel my stool to face her. “What do you mean you think he’s right?”

“It’s wrong to kill yourself, Tessa. I know I can’t change what you’re going to do, and I know this might hurt your feelings, but I’d regret it if I never said anything.” She popped an orange slice in her mouth and I almost reached out to slap it off her tongue.

Kyle stopped in his tracks. “Are you fucking kidding, El?”

I put my hand up and glared at him. “Kyle! Why don’t you take Beast for a walk?”

The dog came bounding into the kitchen seconds later, holding his leash in his mouth. He was upsettingly smart when he wanted to be.

Kyle shot us both an angry look, but grabbed the leash and left with Beast.

I waited until I heard the front door close before I spoke. “Why didn’t you tell me you felt this way weeks ago, Elly? You were so supportive on the phone.”

Elly stood and walked to the sink, rinsing her hands from the orange. “I am supportive of you, but I didn’t know what to say. I was so shocked by the announcement in the first place.” She leaned against the counter across from me and dried her hands. “I’d never considered the option. Never even knew enough about it to know how I felt. But I’ve been doing some reading…” She inhaled deeply, finally letting her gaze meet mine. Tears brimmed her bottom lashes, her voice strained. “It just doesn’t feel right, Tessa. It’s suicide—the easy way out.”

“You’re right. It is the easy way out.” I emptied my lungs with a sigh. “But why do I have to take the hard way? Why endure the pain when I can avoid it? What lessons are there in that? The outcome is no different.”

“I don’t know, but there has to be a reason. God does everything for a reason. He’s the only one who chooses when we die.” Elly wiped an escaped tear from her cheek. “I’ve been going back to church and that’s what my priest says.”

I dropped a hand on top of Elly’s. “I went to a priest before I decided, and I feel comfortable with my decision, in part because of my conversation with him.”

Elly’s brows furrowed, her frown deepening. “You did?”

“I did, and, personally, I agree. God will pick the day and time I die.” Her eyes widened when I said that. “I think when I feel the time is right—the gut feeling of knowing now—could very well be God.

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