Devoted by Riley Sierra

Author:Riley, Sierra [Riley, Sierra]
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
Published: 2016-03-13T23:00:00+00:00

18

Russ

Ryan was wheeled back fifteen minutes later.

He and Jake walked alongside his gurney, all the way through the winding halls of the surgery center until they reached the operating room. There the orderly in charge of transporting him stopped the bed, and Russ was able to say his “see you in a little while, bud,” while Jake managed to snatch the wooden bear from the tangle of blankets.

And then the door was opened, and Ryan was taken into the one place Russ couldn’t follow. His heart pounded. His throat threatened to close. And it took Jake’s arm around his shoulders, guiding him toward the waiting room, to get him to even move.

Once there, the clock was his constant enemy. He looked at it every five minutes. When it ticked past four hours and the sun set behind the large glass windows, Russ started to panic.

“What’s taking so long? He said three-to-four hours, didn’t he? You heard him say three-to-four hours.”

“Sometimes procedures take a little longer than planned. It doesn’t mean anything’s gone wrong.”

Jake’s voice was soothing, and he wanted to cling to that. But instead he curled in on himself, burying his hope in and endless sea of worry.

“What if something has gone wrong? God, Jake. I should’ve never agreed to this. I should’ve had them try something else first, or just. I don’t know. Anything but this.”

He was on the verge of hysterics, and falling fast.

“That’s my son in there. My son. If something happens to him. I can’t—”

It felt like everyone in the waiting room was looking at him suddenly. He couldn’t catch his breath. Couldn’t manage to remember how to breathe properly. Oh, fuck. This happened to him once before. A panic attack. An honest to fucking God panic attack, in the middle of a waiting room.

“Breathe, Russ. Lean your head down and breathe.”

Jake’s arm came around his shoulders again, warm and comforting. His friend leaned close so only Russ could hear him. Dropping his head down below his shoulders, Russ tried to focus on his own breathing. He followed Jake’s example, in and out, in and out.

“That’s it. Just take deep breaths and listen to me. Don’t look at the clock or anyone else,” he said as Russ’s gaze started to predictably drift.

Instead, he met Jake’s gaze. Calming pools of blue enveloped him, wrapping him in what felt like a warm embrace. His world was falling apart. But Jake was here. Jake had always been here. He reached out, clutching his friend’s arm like it was the lifeline he needed to survive.

Russ was starting to think that wasn’t far off the mark.

“Good. That’s good. Everything’s going to be okay, Russ. I won’t let anything happen to you or Ryan, I promise.”

He believed that. Even if it was completely irrational. Even if some distant part of his brain chided him, since there was no way Jake could protect him from absolutely everything. But right now, his protests lacked weight or substance. Right now, he felt like Jake could protect him.

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