Dead Letters: Episodes of Epistolary Horror by unknow

Author:unknow
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Crystal Lake Publishing
Published: 2023-12-01T06:00:00+00:00

Raven food (e.g., peanuts??)

Paper / Regular

Paper / Poison

Wizard costume

Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

Rubber gloves (not available on Prime??)

More goons?

Take down sign BEFORE they get to the castle

***

Scraps of paper pinned to the corkboard in a modest office behind a door that says “PRIVATE: Do Not Enter for Vengeance” and “No Wizards Allowed! HENRY.” in the Wizard’s Castle

The first arrow has to miss.

Try to win them over?

Hero’s Journey? Story Wheel? Exquisite Corpse?

Hire a more attentive “wizard”? This Henry guy stinks

Try to win! Them! Over!

TEXTURE cf. Chuck Palanuk (sp?)

How many twists is too many?

Look up how to use cf.

Something about “death of the author”?

App to automate emails? Texts? Tweets?

REALLY FIRE HENRY BEFORE I DIE

guilt guilt guilt

***

Sign above the arched doorway in the castle’s empty throne room, behind the cardboard boxes marked “Wizard Props,” “Halloween,” and “Throne, Etc.”

This way home

***

Note tied to the end of an arrow sticking into your stomach a second after emerging from the doorway back into reality

The third arrow has to hit, though.

***

Really long text message from a 917 area code

Hey love,

It’s me. Sorry about the ambush. Right after defeating the Wizard, too. That’s gotta sting, huh?

Look, you’re probably bleeding pretty bad (if not, spoiler alert!) and you don’t have a ton of time. Before you call an ambulance, here’s the thing, now that we’ve come this far together:

You were NEVER REALLY MEANT to avenge me.

I know you were expecting some grand ending to your quest. A final boss fight with the big bastard who killed me. A cathartic curtain-dropper and a slobber-knocker to give this all meaning and tie it up. But the fact of the matter is, it doesn’t really end that way.

Hell, I bet no one even killed me. Not on purpose, anyway.

I mean, I am dead, but the truth is that there is no vengeance. No, you were here to carry me through this—a spectacle I designed just for you.

So yes, I lied. But I’m not sorry, because do you realize the lengths I’ve gone to for you? For YOU SPECIFICALLY?

You must have put together that this was never about the destination but about the journey, right? Guiding you through all of this—from getting my bones to the putting them into first guy (RIP stranger) to the Tootman to the Wizard—was the only way for us to go through this story TOGETHER. For us to not just become close, but COMPLICIT. And becoming complicit means that now we’re intimate enough for what I’m really going to ask of you.

Your open wound? I want you to put my bone in that.

It’s not going to regrow into me. I don’t actually know what it will do. But if you do what I’m asking, at the very least there will be a part of me that you carry with you forever, which is more than anyone had of me before. I bet it’s more than you’ve had of anyone else, too.

And hey, maybe it won’t do much? Maybe it’ll just slide down into your body and wait there, a hidden but undeniable reminder of the time we spent together.

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