Daphne by Josh Malerman

Author:Josh Malerman [Malerman, Josh]
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
Publisher: Random House Worlds
Published: 2022-09-20T00:00:00+00:00

Kit Lamb’s Journal—Don’t Think About a

Don’t think about a blue raven.

Isn’t this what people say? That it’s impossible not to think about whatever you’re told not to think about?

Don’t think about a blue raven.

But you did, Jolly. You did.

Do you know that if Melanie or Tammy had died in any ordinary way, I’d think about their deaths every day for the rest of my life? Do you know that one day I’d be walking the streets of a city and I’d enter a restaurant and as the host asked me how many I’d think,

One. Alone. Just me. No Melanie or Tammy because they died back when we were in high school?

But…don’t think about band patches on the wings of a blue-jean raven…

Here: Don’t think about the deaths of two friends.

And definitely do not think about who killed them.

Is this fair?

I’m angry, Jolly.

I’m thinking of a blue raven. It flies from one side of my mind to the other and it perches on ledges I didn’t know I had.

There was a man in my room, Jolly. Under my bed.

Far as I know the police still think it’s him, but they’ll find out soon enough. In fact, Mom and Dad are talking about something serious downstairs and I think one of the cops from the driveway is in the house with them down there, and so maybe something happened tonight and if so, then I guess it wasn’t the man from under my bed after all.

JOLLY, guess what?

I’m thinking of the blue face of a blue raven.

It’s got long black hair and it smells like the bar and its feathers are denim and it flies from one end of my mind to the other, the sound of its wings like the sound of jeans hanging on a clothesline in a storm.

What sound does anxiety make, Jolly?

They’re talking about the cemetery downstairs. I don’t wanna know what happened. I’m afraid to look at my phone. I don’t wanna see a text from Dana saying Natasha was crushed, a text from Natasha saying the same about Dana.

No new messages. Not yet.

But I’m thinking of a blue raven.

Are you?

It’s tall, Jolly, so tall, and the more you think about it, the more it flies. DON’T, they say. DON’T THINK ABOUT A BLUE-JEAN RAVEN.

But that’s all I can do.

That’s the future, isn’t it? I wasn’t hysterical when I said she’s going to get me. I know she is. I’m small, weak, meek. She’s a seven-foot bird with a taste for blood and she plucks us from the dirt like bugs.

I can’t do it. I’m not strong enough to survive this. If she attacks…WHEN she

OH NO

OH MY…NO, NO

I just heard the name “Kennedy” from downstairs. Oh no, Jolly. No, please no. What did Kennedy Lichtenstein EVER DO WRONG TO ANYBODY IN HER LIFE? Oh my God, Jolly. Please no.

That’s the news. Has to be.

Oh no.

I look under the bed. No one there, but there was a man who wanted to watch me die.

I look out the window. Red and blue (jean) lights swirling.

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