CHRISTMAS FOR THE DEPUTY by HELM NICOLE

Author:HELM, NICOLE [HELM, NICOLE]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781951190217
Publisher: Tule Publishing
Published: 2019-10-17T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter Ten

“There you are,” Sadie greeted cheerfully. She was the only one in the kitchen, thank God. “The girls and Dad—”

“I’m just going to go hide this stuff,” Pen managed to choke out as she hurried up the stairs. She got to her room and shut the door and then simply sank onto the floor and sobbed.

The well of emotion was so broad and deep she didn’t have a word for it. Part grief, part surprise, and a big, huge part of it fear.

She’d thought she knew what she was doing when it came to Ethan, but that kiss… It was bigger than anything she’d imagined or even expected. Too big. Too much.

She’d loved her husband with everything she was, and she never thought she could feel that again. She’d been happy to believe moving on would mean feeling something for someone, even love, but nothing so big and all-encompassing. Because how could you feel it twice in one lifetime with two different people?

But that kiss had been something closer to magic than she’d realized existed. It had made her forget everything. It had filled her up with so many emotions, she’d had to run away.

The knock that eventually came wasn’t exactly unexpected. “Pen?” Sadie said quietly.

Pen tried to wipe at her face, but it was pointless. Sadie wouldn’t understand this. Heck, Pen wasn’t even sure she understood it.

But Sadie would listen, and maybe Pen didn’t need her to understand. Maybe she just needed to unburden herself.

Pen opened the door from her position on the floor. When Sadie stepped in she immediately sank to her knees in front of Pen.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m okay. Nothing is wrong.” Not wrong exactly anyway. Just confusing.

At Sadie’s disapproving look, Pen managed a smile. “Really. I don’t know how to explain… I…” Too many words and emotions jangled inside of her, so she went with the simplest explanation even though it wouldn’t make sense. “Ethan kissed me.”

Sadie closed the door and moved from her knees in front of Sadie to a seat next to Pen on the floor. “I thought that’s what you wanted,” Sadie said gently.

“I did. I do.” It wasn’t that she wanted to take it back. Well, part of her did. The scared part. But it was more than that.

“So? Was he a jerk? I’ll knock his teeth out.” Sadie waved her fist, then seemed to consider the size of it. “Or have Colt do it. He might if Ethan was a jerk to you.”

“No.” Pen laughed. “No. It was a great kiss. It was… I hadn’t thought it through. I hadn’t… I haven’t kissed anyone since Henry died. I didn’t think that would matter, but…”

“Oh.”

Pen wanted to laugh because that oh wasn’t an I understand. It was an I don’t know what to say to that. But Sadie was sitting here. Sadie who tended to avoid emotional confrontation was sitting next to her letting her cry and be confusing. Offering comfort.

Sadie had changed this past year. Matured maybe, or just allowed herself to open up more fully.

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