Christmas and Other Things I Hate by Elizabeth McGivern

Author:Elizabeth McGivern
Language: eng
Format: azw3, epub
Publisher: Pernickety Publishing
Published: 2019-10-31T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter 8

I felt a stitch in my side and as I jogged back to the house and noticed that someone had managed to find some lights and put them on Helen’s tree.

In the dark it didn’t look too bad. The curtains were open and I could see my family, through the window, all laughing together. It looked picture perfect and I hated that even if I had been inside with them I would stand out like a sore thumb.

I hated feeling like I didn’t belong. I hated that I could never feel at home here and I hated that Helen just assumed it was all down to my behaviour instead of years of being treated differently from the rest of my family.

I tried not to let the intrusive thoughts derail me from my mission and pushed myself to run across the yard and sound the alarm. Just as I reached the door, I heard the now familiar sound of Helen’s laugh.

I pushed it open and rushed into the living room. I walked in just as she clinked glasses with Lucas and everyone stopped what they were doing.

“Oh, please, don’t let me interrupt,” I shouted, “I’ve only just been wandering the roads looking for you because I was worried that you were in trouble.”

“Why would she be in trouble, love?” asked dad.

“It doesn’t matter because here she is, fitting in with everyone else and as usual I’m on the outside looking in.”

I slammed the door closed and went to find Ernie. I didn’t care that he was still damp from the hose, I just wanted to sit with someone that didn’t make me feel like I had trespassed on someone else’s Christmas.

I sat on the step outside and soon Ernie came to sit at my feet. He didn’t do anything but sit beside me in the dark and every so often I reached down to give him a reassuring pet.

“Hey,” said Helen, “I just went out the front door earlier and walked around to the barn for a nosy and a bit of air. By the time I came back in you were already gone and your parents thought it was better if I stayed here and waited for you to come back instead of me getting lost looking for you.

She seemed genuine but I didn’t bother to respond.

“We really need to have a chat,” she continued, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For everything; I’m sorry that I’ve gate-crashed your life and left you feeling like you need to be my babysitter when all you really wanted was someone to keep you company on a drive for a bit.

“Believe it or not, this wasn’t planned. Before you came and found me at the bridge I had already decided that I was going to come back to the flat and explain that I didn’t have the cash but I would have figured out a way to get you home.

“When you offered me the opportunity to spend Christmas with a family I selfishly said ‘yes’ when really I should have let you come here and sort out all the stuff that’s been bothering you.

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