Breaking Through the Pain (Espen Jetties Book 1) by Haven Hadley

Author:Haven Hadley [Hadley, Haven]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Haven Hadley Books LLC
Published: 2024-07-25T00:00:00+00:00

17

DEVON

I heard the words he said. Took them in. But it was my fault. I put that station on the radio. No, I didn’t realize it would trigger him, but I still felt horrible about what I caused him to go through.

“I’m sorry you lost your friend.” He wouldn’t want me to apologize for putting on the radio.

I’d never known anyone personally who went through what he had. He was opening himself up to me. I knew telling me what he had wasn’t easy for him. He’d gone through something horrible. Something I couldn’t even fathom.

Lincoln was so different than me. It made me realize how lucky I was in life. I got to do what I loved for a living because there were others out there fighting for our freedom. I was out on the ice, playing my heart out, enjoying it like crazy. Sure, it wasn’t always easy or without pain. Injuries happened. But that was absolutely nothing compared to what Lincoln experienced. The danger he constantly faced while he was deployed. The PTSD he lived through at home.

I didn’t suffer with panic attacks. The occasional anxiety, of course. Never to the level he had though. I hadn’t been in his shoes, but I felt for him.

Taking his other hand in mine, I held them both while I looked into his light green eyes. Fuck, there was so much swimming in there. So much emotion, hurt, fear, and a little longing. For me, maybe? Did he worry I’d turn him away after he admitted this to me? I would never do that.

“Next time, tell me?” I offered a small smile. I couldn’t push him about his PTSD. I realized he had to be the one who brought it up, and the last thing I wanted was to upset him in any way.

He nodded then gave a short chuckle as if trying to dissolve the seriousness in the room. “Can we talk about something else?”

“I thought you were done with me, so I’m just happy to sit here holding on to you.” I clamped my lips shut and stared toward the front windows, wondering if I revealed too much. I didn’t like being insecure, yet I was with Lincoln.

Squeezing my hands briefly, he said my name firmly but not harshly. “Devon.”

I was helpless not to pull my gaze to his.

“My problems aren’t for the faint of heart and I wasn’t sure it was fair to lay that at someone else’s feet.” He released my hand to run his through his hair. The lighting caught the subtle shade variations in his light brown locks. He chuckled again, this time I could see the humor on his face while he did so. “We’re quite a pair.”

I took the chance and slid closer until I had one leg bent on the couch, my other knee touching his, and asked the question I was itching to know the answer to. “Are we? A couple?”

He lifted his hand to cup my cheek. “You know, I love watching you on TV as you play.

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