Bound to Deception: A Dark Mafia Romance (Doubeck Crime Family Book 5) by J.L. Beck & Monica Corwin

Author:J.L. Beck & Monica Corwin [Beck , J.L.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bleeding Heart Press
Published: 2022-10-20T16:00:00+00:00

19

CILLA

As much as I enjoy the idea of punishing everyone who hurt me, killing everyone is not what I want. I’ve seen so much death and violence in my life that the idea of causing more turns my stomach.

I pull away from him and stand to pace. “Can’t we just revel in being free instead of needing to cause more death?”

Sometimes, I fantasize about murdering them all, even going so far as to promise myself in my head. But if someone wrapped my palm around a gun, I’m not entirely sure I’d be able to pull that trigger.

“Freedom doesn’t mean what you think it does in this world. You’re never really free. You’re just running on borrowed time, waiting for the moment when your enemy gets the upper hand. It’s a game of wits, of being a little smarter than the person in front of you.”

His response doesn’t make me feel better, and I swallow hard. “Ummm…I’m not sure what I can do in this situation. I’m not smart, or—”

He stomps over, takes hold of my chin hard, and forces me to look at him. “Don’t speak about yourself like that. As to what you do, well…” He smiles, but it’s more unhinged than gleeful. “The season is open. I can blow every one of these motherfuckers to bits, and no one can stop me.”

I stay still and calm in his grasp. After a few more seconds, he releases me and walks toward the window in the living room to stare out.

His voice is too quiet when he asks, “Why don’t you want these assholes dead?”

I wrap my arms around my middle. “I never said I didn’t want them dead. I just don’t think I can be the one to kill them.”

His back is stiff, and I don’t like that I can’t see his face. To try to read what he’s thinking. Not that he’s easy to read at all. The only time I can sense his emotions is when he’s angry. To be fair, it’s what I have the most experience with so far.

I take a few steps toward him.

He stands like a sentinel, straight-backed, blocking a good portion of the window. Some slivers of light break around the outline of him. “I just don’t understand how you can let them get away with brutalizing you for years and just walk away. Forgiveness might be in your nature, but it sure as hell isn’t in mine.”

I swallow hard, staring at his back, willing him to turn and look at me. “There’s a difference between forgiveness and self-preservation. All I want is to be free of them all. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. To be free of my family name to live my own life.”

The tension grows tight, pulling between us despite what we shared earlier in the bathroom. Maybe because of it. Both of us think we’re someone we aren’t. Someone each of us needed in a painful moment.

I hug myself tight again, needing comfort, even if I won’t get it from him.

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