Beef Cake by Smartypants Romance

Author:Smartypants Romance [Kate, Jiffy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Smartypants Romance

Chapter 16

Frankie

These past couple of days have been, well, weird.

My date with Gunnar on Wednesday was everything I hoped it would be and more.

Then everything went to shit. When he drove me home and we started making out in my driveway, I wanted it. I wanted him. But my stupid brain started filling up with all the self-doubts and insecurities—the scars, my inability to have a relationship, the past I’m struggling to remember.

How could I tell him that stuff in the heat of the moment? But then again, how could I not?

Just as Gunnar’s hand slipped under my shirt, skimming softly along my abdomen, I froze.

If his hand had traveled to my back, he’d have been able to feel the scars that lined the skin. They’re not as prevalent as they once were—over time they’ve stretched and faded—but they’re still there. Faint, but noticeable. And then there are the ones on my legs, which I never allow to show.

It was too much.

I couldn’t compartmentalize any longer, so I bailed. I reached for the handle and stumbled out, leaving Gunnar a confused mess in the front seat. I told him to go.

So he did.

Just like I knew he would.

Because first and foremost, Gunnar is a gentleman.

Then, on Thursday morning, as I was getting ready to go visit my mother, I got a call from the hospital telling me they were short-staffed and needed me. Unlike my previous shift, everything was complete chaos. It started with a ten-car pile-up that filled our entire ER with patients and ended with three men who’d been in a knife fight.

For a second, when the call had first come in, fear had rushed through me, wondering if somehow the patients coming in were part of the Iron Wraiths. Thankfully, they were a few teenagers who were probably in some sort of gang. That’s not my job to determine. I just patched them up and let the cops do the rest.

When I got home, Gunnar was waiting for me in my driveway and his vulnerability once again made my walls come crashing down. I still don’t know what I’m doing when it comes to him. This is all such uncharted territory, but his patience and care are everything I never knew I wanted.

On top of all that, I slept like crap. These pieces of my past—of my childhood, the things I’ve tried so hard to remember all these years—are creeping in like ghosts in the night, invading my dreams. This morning, I woke up in another heap of sweat and twisted sheets, and not for any good reasons . . . like me and Gunnar having sex.

Although, I’ve thought about that possibility a lot since the driveway incident.

I’m a mess.

To make matters worse, I was running late and didn’t have a chance to make coffee or stop at Daisy’s for a cup. So, I’m sleep-deprived, frazzled, and under-caffeinated.

As I drive into Maryville, I think about stopping at one of the coffee shops in town, but decide Folgers will have to be good enough this morning.

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