Be Calm by Jill Weber

Author:Jill Weber
Language: eng
Format: azw3, epub
ISBN: 9781641522083
Publisher: Althea Press
Published: 2019-03-05T05:00:00+00:00

STRATEGY: IN VIVO EXPOSURE

In vivo is just a fancy way of saying, “in real life,” and for our purposes, it means you need to experience the situations you’re avoiding. Anxiety has dictated a number of your choices and caused you to miss out. Calling up your fears in real time, by approaching what you usually avoid, will show you that you can work through your anxiety in the moment and get out on the other side. What’s on the other side? A life full of experiences you value. (When you try your first in vivo exposures, find a trusted friend to accompany you so you have support if you start to feel overwhelmed.)

Pick something that you’ve long avoided because of anxiety. This should be something that will be hard but that you can imagine pushing yourself to do. Examples might be calling a friend or relative, going somewhere, speaking up in a group, asking for something you need, telling someone something you’ve needed to say for a long time. Take doing the task slowly. Remember, the anxiety will be there as you push forth and that’s okay. Here’s how:

1.Take action: Do something you avoid and fear that blocks you from gaining something important to you.

2.Rein in fight-or-flight: Bring down physiological arousal by paying attention to your breathing. Make each exhalation longer than the one before.

3.Support yourself: Tell yourself, as you push forward toward your goal and feel that surge of anxiety, “I can and I will push through. I can and I will push through. I can and I will push through . . . ”

STRATEGY: HOW DID IT FEEL?

When we’re anxious, we don’t focus enough on the relief and even pleasure we experience when we push through the anxiety and get to the other side. Take a moment now to be aware of what good came from exposing yourself to the situation you have previously avoided so you will be sure to do it again.

•Do you feel any relief in your body?

•Do you feel any pleasure or pride in knowing you did the thing?

•Did anything good come from doing it?

•Can you imagine doing it again or something similar?

•Which makes you feel better about yourself, approaching your fears or avoiding/escaping them?

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