Ashes and Ice by Rochelle Maya Callen

Author:Rochelle Maya Callen [Callen, Rochelle Maya]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: C&C Legacy Publishing
Published: 2013-02-02T06:00:00+00:00

Chapter 37

Jade

“I used to come here all the time with my Dad.” Connor holds my hand as he steps over logs and battered limbs in the woods. I hear the water swooshing ahead. I squeeze his hand tighter, because I am not sure I want to go where he is taking me. The moment I squeeze his hand, he stops abruptly and waits for me to fall in line beside him. I smile. He must think I need him for support through this “wilderness”. I want to laugh, but swallow it.

Before I know it, we are there. Set against a backdrop of trees, the lake’s crystalline water twinkles with the sun dancing on the small crests of ripples. Lovely, but terrifying. I pull backward slightly, distancing myself from the lake. It would be too easy to fall in, too easy to be lost there.

Connor lets go of my hand and walks to the shoreline. He looks left to right taking in the lake like a panoramic masterpiece. “It is beautiful here,” I say, because as scared as I am, it is beautiful.

He jerks his head toward me as if he’s forgotten I am here. Longing lingers in his eyes. He gazes at the water as if he is searching and misses something — something in those clear ripples that appear and just as quickly vanish…lost forever.

“Yeah, it is.” He smiles—a strange nostalgia almost hidden in the sweetness of his expression. He starts tugging at his shirt and pulls it over his head.

I inhale. Golden and fine, muscles edge his entire body. No baggy shirt disguises the width and strength of his shoulders or the curve of his torso. He glistens with Louisianan heat. He looks like someone entirely new.

“Do you want to swim?” He extends his arm toward me, his brow furrowed in question.

“Uh, no thanks.” My body goes rigid. I won’t go in, not ever.

“Oh c’mon.” He trudges through the water, then dives in. His laughter is faint, muffled by the sound of splashing. The whooshing sound invades my ears. Connor motions me in, but all I see is the water. Darkness undulates below. My muscles ache as if bracing for the thrashing, my throat closes for the drowning, my body freezes, afraid of the falling, sinking, dying.

Part of me knows the irrationality of it all, but more of me is so scared that, for the first time, I want to run away—away from Connor and his warmth, and his world and back to the Redwoods that were so lonely and safe. Connor edges forward. He grasps both my hands and slowly steps back, pulling me along. “My dad used to bring me here when I was little. I was terrified of swimming. I couldn’t even float. But he kept me safe. I’m going to keep you safe, Jade. Always. Just look at me. Don’t look anywhere else.”

The water laps at my ankles. It feels fresh and alive against the heat seeping into me. But I don’t trust it.

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