As Meat Loves Salt by Maria Mccann

Author:Maria Mccann [Mccann, Maria]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction, Literary
ISBN: 9780007429264
Google: bpE2YgEACAAJ
Amazon: 015601226X
Publisher: Harvest Books
Published: 2001-01-01T16:00:00+00:00

The hairs of my head are more than threatened. they are bloodied. Violent love eats up what it does love, and is mere appetite.

I scribbled on the bottom of this before sending it back:

/ would sooner cut my own flesh than do you a hurt. You should not have tried to get between us! But only come to see me, and another time I will stand and let him beat me to a mummy.

Becs's sharp eyes took in what I had written and she gave me a pitying look. I was at once ashamed of my unkindness. I had wished to punish her for being cold, for up until then, her face had remained unfeeling even while she was dressing the war wounds received at the Battle of Cheapside. As she turned to go down for the second time, I said to her, 'You're a jewel,' and had the pleasure of seeing her smile.

The next time the door opened downstairs, I knew it was Ferris, and tried to calm myself as he neared the chamber. When he did appear, his expression was not encouraging.

'Tell me, Jacob,' he began, having seated himself on the edge of the bed, 'were you sincere in what you wrote in your note? The last one.'

'Try it - bring him back and tell him to set about me.'

'And now tell me how that would help us.'

'I only meant that I was sorry,' I said, feeling tricked.

He frowned. 'Well, if you ever feel such anger at another of our company, you must do what you wrote to me, stand and let him beat

296 As Meat Loves Salt

you to a mummy. You make great protestations: you'll do this, and this. Next time stand off before you hurt the other man, not after.'

'I did it for you.'

'For me? Did I not beg you to stop?'

I was silent, and not only because it was impossible to deny the truth of this. Again I heard Caro's shocked gasp as I told her I had slain the boy for her sake, followed by her scrabble to get away from me in the dark.

'Well, did I?'Ferris asked crossly.

I nodded my head.

He went on, 'Should he die, what will become of you?'

'I was only—'

'You make no attempt to hold yourself in.' Ferris turned his face away from me. 'Look here.'

I winced to see the bloody hair at the back of his head. 'He stirred me up — he called your wife such names—'

'You told me not even to spit at Cooper!'

'I hit him for love of you—'

'For love of mastery! By God,' he spat, 'Nat was lucky!'

Luckier than you know, I thought, rocking myself in agitation.

Ferris cried, 'And don't tell me violence is an affliction to you! I saw your face!' He paused, calming himself, before saying more quietly, 'It would go better with you, Jacob, had God seen fit to make you small.'

We sat in silence a few minutes and I saw his wrath going down, now that he was in the room with me and had spoken his mind.

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