As Close As Sisters by Colleen Faulkner

Author:Colleen Faulkner [Faulkner, Colleen]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Kensington
Published: 2014-10-28T00:00:00+00:00

17

Aurora

I’m not going to feel guilty. And Lilly can’t make me. She ought to know that by now.

I could feel her staring at me. I didn’t look at her. Instead, I tipped back the beer bottle and took a swig. It was mediocre beer, but it was local. We always drank local beer when we were here. I can’t remember why.

The first fireworks exploded out over the ocean, and everyone oohed and aahed. I’m not into fireworks. Never have been. But even though it doesn’t fit my personality, I’m into tradition.

Lilly thought we should tell McKenzie about Maura almost getting arrested. Actually, she thought we should make Maura do it. Hold her down in the sand, maybe, let crabs nibble at her bare toes until she confessed?

Lilly was all “It’s a mother’s right to know what’s going on in her children’s lives. I would want to know if my daughter had gotten into that kind of trouble.”

I think that was easy for Lilly to say when her child is tucked safely beneath her belly button. She has no idea what she’s in for. And maybe that’s good. But I don’t think she’s being realistic about how hard it’s going to be to be a parent. How no matter how hard she tries, she’s going to fall flat sometimes. Probably more times than she doesn’t. I don’t think she’s going to be a bad mom. I think she’ll be better than most. But I still think she’ll screw up sometimes, and that’s going to be hard for her to deal with.

Lilly also doesn’t get the reality of the situation here with Maura and Mia and McKenzie. She doesn’t get that McKenzie doesn’t have enough time left to make a difference. Telling her about Maura’s tangle with the law wouldn’t do anything but worry McKenzie. McKenzie can’t change the path Maura is already on. Maybe that’s cold. Maybe I can’t think like a mother because while I might have given birth, Christ knew I was never a mother and would never be a mother. But I really think it’s better for McKenzie if she doesn’t know.

As to whether or not it was better for Maura? I don’t know. I don’t know how much I care. Maybe I will later. Once McKenzie is dead. But right now, McKenzie is the one I care about.

Lilly is blowing the whole thing out of proportion anyway. It was one little tangle with the po-po. She didn’t get arrested. No harm, no foul.

I think Lilly is a drama queen. I think she looks for things to get upset about. She looks for things I do wrong. She’s never approved of anything I do. It doesn’t matter how many sculptures I sell or how much money I make. It will never be enough for Lilly. I’ll never be good enough for her.

I took another pull on my beer. The fireworks were exploding in the sky: reds and blues. They were loud. I looked out at the dark water. I missed it.

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