Anxiety in Relationships: Fear of Abandonment and Insecurity Often Cause Damage Without Therapy. Learn How to Identify and Eliminate Jealousy, Negative Thinking and Overcome Couple Conflicts by Michelle Martin

Anxiety in Relationships: Fear of Abandonment and Insecurity Often Cause Damage Without Therapy. Learn How to Identify and Eliminate Jealousy, Negative Thinking and Overcome Couple Conflicts by Michelle Martin

Author:Michelle Martin [Martin, Michelle]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Tags: insecure love, saving your marriage before it starts, anixety book, anxiety psychology fear therapy attached book, anxious attachment relationships, attached the new science of adult attachment, audible books conflict marriage audiobook relationship, dismissive avoidant attachment
Publisher: Michelle Martin
Published: 2020-06-02T00:00:00+00:00


Chapter 5: Building Trust and Finding Your Conflict Resolution Sweet Spot

Trust is one of the most important antidotes when it comes to relationship anxiety. Without it, your relationship will fail and your anxiety will become stronger. You’ll find yourself suffering from signs of jealousy and fear of abandonment along with many other problems. If you’re like most people, you feel that the reason you don’t trust your partner is because of something they did. You’ll look for any reason to try to understand your lack of trust. For example, if your partner came home late one night without calling, you’ll add this to your list. Even if it really didn’t faze you that much at the time, you’ll cite it as a reason and make your partner believe that they are the cause.

Understanding Emotional Baggage

The truth of the matter is that most of your lack of trust comes from your emotional baggage, and the only way to work on building trust is to understand and own up to it. “Emotional baggage” refers to the insecurities and issues we’ve faced in our previous relationships. You’ve been adding to your emotional baggage for most of your life without realizing it. For example, problems in the relationship with your parents is a part of your baggage. From there, you added any issues from past relationships. All of this has accumulated in a big black bag within your heart and mind and it causes you to struggle in your current relationship. The good news is that healing is possible, no matter how much baggage you’re holding on to. The key is that you need to learn to accept the baggage, realize you can’t change it, learn to live in the current moment, forget people who hurt you (including yourself), and let go of the things that you can’t change.

The first step to working through your emotional baggage is to understand where it comes from. You need to know what type of emotional baggage you have accumulated through the years. There are many different types and each one comes from a certain point within your life. This means that you can have more than one type. For example, if you grew up in a dysfunctional family, you have this type. If you’ve suffered through domestic violence in a relationship, you also have this type.

Mental health is one type of emotional baggage. This usually happens after you’ve seen your doctor or therapist and they diagnose you with a mental illness, such as depression, General Anxiety Disorder, or Bipolar Disorder. It doesn’t matter how insignificant in your life that disorder might be to you, it can still create baggage for several reasons, from the way society views mental health to the way you were raised to think about mental illnesses.

Mental illness can easily consume your life. For example, you struggle with anxiety every day. It doesn’t matter if you’re about to make a phone call to pay a bill or if you’re about to open an email about a potential job offer, you feel anxious.



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