Angels Working Overtime by Vanessa Miller

Author:Vanessa Miller
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Vanessa Miller
Published: 2018-09-27T00:00:00+00:00

Acknowledging What Is

After my father passed away, I felt lost. It was as if a piece of my identity was now gone, and my sense of balance was off. When the world sometimes seemed cruel and hard, I could just stop by my parents’ house and visit. My father didn’t have a lot of money and couldn’t give me a lot of material things. What he gave me was much more profound. He gave me a sense of who I was in the world. I was his daughter, and that alone was enough.

Eventually, I had to go back to work and my life, but it wasn’t easy. I felt so alone. I didn’t feel as if anyone knew or understood the pain I was in.

One day I was in a staff meeting at work, and two co-workers were arguing about how to fill out a form (oh, the life of human resources). With the rage I was feeling, I saw myself on the verge of flipping over the conference room table. Here I was dealing with the worst pain I had ever experienced, and they were arguing about filling out a form as if it was the most important thing in the world. Thankfully, my girlfriend saw my face and motioned for me to leave the room before I got fired. The sad thing is, I didn’t care if I got fired.

I was struggling, and I knew it. I just wasn’t sure what to do.

Dream

I am heading home. I am driving down the street that I live on. It is usually dark on my street at night, as I live in a rural neighborhood, and there are no street lights. I only pass four houses to get to my house. On this night as I turned the corner, there was a glow down the street near my home. As I got closer to my house, the sky was brightly lit with orange fire. Oh my God, my house was on fire. I stopped the car a little down the road from my house and jumped out. Upon further inspection, I realized it was only my garage that was on fire. The rest of the house was unscathed, which was weird, considering it’s an attached garage. I yelled to make sure my husband wasn’t inside. I called 911 and then called for my husband again.

When I awakened, God let me know that I was dying inside spiritually. Truth be told, I had been dying a slow spiritual death for some time.

Most people store everything in one of three places in their homes; the attic, the basement or the garage. We didn’t have a basement, so most things were in the garage.

I was storing my feelings inside, and they were going to destroy me, which my house represented. I stored a bad divorce. I stored being hurt by people in the church when I needed them to be my spiritual family. I stored fear, unbelief, lack of faith. It was all piled up inside.

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