Alan Partridge: Nomad: Nomad by Alan Partridge

Author:Alan Partridge
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Orion
Published: 2016-10-19T23:00:00+00:00

They’re here to support a Sport Relief walk being done by Steve Backshall. And I, Alan Partridge, am effectively shelling them with unders. I wince and feel the tentacles of embarrassment beginning to climb my tummy like ivy.

For those of you who don’t know him, and I have to admit I’m not massively familiar with the guy myself, Steve Backshall (pronounced ‘back shawl’) is a TV presenter who makes animal programmes for kids. His USP is that he films in exotic, often dangerous jungle locations. And while no shoot would ever be allowed to take place without a rigorous risk assessment that reduces the chances of anything going wrong to more or less zero, I’ve no doubt the shows appear extremely impressive, especially to the children at whom they are aimed.

But despite the attraction of having a surname that sounds like a knitted garment worn by a grandma, Back-shawl’s core audience can only take him so far. Marooned in the no man’s land between Bear Grylls and Terry Nutkins, his career has hit a glass ceiling.

Finding out that Backshall is due to arrive any minute, I decide to leave. Steve’s a young fella trying to make his way in broadcasting, and even though it’s not something that particularly bothers me, I can imagine how important the adulation of these people is to his self-esteem. The last thing he needs is an 800-pound gorilla stealing his thunder.

I do track down the organisers and give them my number – as the senior broadcaster I’d be happy for Steve to call if he needs any advice on how to handle the media, how to grow his brand or indeed how to knock some of the rough edges off his presenting style75 – but with that done, it’s time to get on my way. I make a quick foray into the crowd to collect my undies – ‘Sorry, thanks, sorry, bye’ – have a quick altercation with a middle-aged woman,76 and continue south.

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