Again by Christine Shields Corrigan

Author:Christine Shields Corrigan
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Koehler Books
Published: 2020-08-24T13:10:10+00:00

Unlike the isolation I endured as a teenage cancer patient, my everyday life as an adult didn’t stop because I had breast cancer. The early summer months of 2016 brought with them family celebrations. Although I attended, sang Happy Birthday, clapped for the fifth-grade graduates, and ate cake, I often felt detached. It was as though I were watching the action from the other side of a glass wall, with the sounds of celebration, the congratulations, and birthday wishes muffled, and the goofy fifth-graders out of reach.

Others looked at ease in conversation—probably talking about their jobs or latest projects, vacation plans, tennis matches, or rounds of golf. But as soon as I approached, those conversations paused and shifted to cancer. How much longer would I be in treatment? How I was managing my side effects? When I would have my surgery? While I smiled and answered their questions, part of me wanted to scream, “There’s more to talk about than cancer!”

The conversations left me exhausted and filled with envy and bitterness. Their lives hadn’t been cleaved in two. They didn’t have a before and after. I did, and I couldn’t push those feelings aside. They clung to me like a leech bleeding my spirit.

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