After You Left by Mason Carol

Author:Mason, Carol [Mason, Carol]
Language: eng
Format: azw3, epub
ISBN: 9781503942363
Publisher: Lake Union Publishing
Published: 2017-03-31T16:00:00+00:00

I hope you will forgive me writing to you like this. I remembered the name of your magazine, and I enquired in a bookshop and found the address.

Finding your note and knowing that you had left without saying goodbye devastated me more than I can ever tell you. But I know you did it because you thought it was what I needed, to shake some sense into me, and you were probably right.

I should never have asked you to leave your marriage and your life for me. It was all too much, too fast, not to mention mad. I’d have had to be a very special man to compete with what you already have, and I suppose I’m realistic enough to know I am not that man. Expecting you to give up everything for someone who has nothing by comparison was insanity, and I regret dreaming for a moment.

So why am I writing? I suppose because something has gone from my life now, but, for the time it takes me to pen this, I feel the thread of a connection again. Just the thought that you might be sat somewhere in secret reading my words cheers me up and brings me closer to you. I thought that after a month had passed I would start, in some small way, to get over you. But the opposite has happened. I am more certain than ever of my feelings for you. You are so ingrained in me now, Evelyn, that even if I never see you again I will always relive our time together, and fantasise that it didn’t have to end. I will be haunted by What if . . . ? I keep playing you over and over in my mind – from that very moment I was in your mother’s garden and I turned around and saw you coming down the path, looking like a fashion model, then everything that passed between us after that. And then back to twenty years ago – our meeting that perhaps affected me in ways that it didn’t quite affect you. Sometimes, I think I must have dreamed the happiness I knew so briefly because of you.

I know that until the day I die I will never forget you.

In hindsight, it might have been best for my sanity if we had never met at that wedding – if I had never been there, or if you had been with a boyfriend, and I wouldn’t have tried to stretch beyond my reach. But I did meet you. I just have to stop reading meaning into why.

I hope you have returned to your life and are happy now that you have got something out of your system. And if I have been in any way responsible for that, then it was worthwhile in the end.

No, I lie. What I hope is that you will come home.

Eddy

She was astonished by how beautifully he put words together. As the espresso machine hissed in the background, and someone’s

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