A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles by Williamson Marianne

A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles by Williamson Marianne

Author:Williamson, Marianne [Williamson, Marianne]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2009-10-13T00:00:00+00:00


14. PRACTICING FORGIVENESS

“Forgiveness is the only sane response.”

To the ego, love is a crime. It seeks to convince us that forgiveness is a dangerous position that entails an unfair sacrifice on our part. The ego claims that forgiveness can lead us into situations where we become someone’s doormat. ‘To the ego, love is weakness. To the Holy Spirit, love is strength.’

I was dating someone several years ago when the Olympic games were playing in Los Angeles. The opening ceremonies were a marvelous theatrical presentation and it was very difficult to get tickets. Because he was involved in the media, Mike was given, at the last minute, one pass that would enable him to go.

I was very excited for him. Everyone in town knew it was going to be a wonderful event. We decided that I would watch the ceremonies on T.V. and we would meet afterwards. At the conclusion of the broadcast, I started getting dressed and figured that it might be an hour or so before I heard from him, since the traffic around the stadium was bound to be horrendous.

An hour passed and then another. Well, he’s in T.V., I thought, so maybe something came up. Another hour and then another. Midnight came and went. I took off my clothes and make-up. It was 2 A.M., then 3. At times I fell asleep, at times I lay in the dark and stared at the ceiling, at times I was livid, and at other times I was scared he was lying in a ditch somewhere. I started calling his house. No answer. I’d call again. No answer. Finally, hardly having slept at all, I called at around 6 A.M. and he answered the phone.

“Hello,” he said.

“Mike?” I said. “This is Marianne.”

“Oh, hi.”

“Are you all right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“We had a date yesterday. Did you forget?”

“Oh, right,” he said. “I had a kind of late night.”

I don’t know what I said to get off the phone, but I know how I felt and it wasn’t wonderful. I had been stood up and I felt the kind of blow to my self-esteem that starts in your gut and shoots emotional black ink through all your veins. Dazed, I somehow fell asleep. When I woke up, I had a whole new take on the situation. I just knew that he was going to wake up feeling sorry for how he had acted. He was going to show up at my door any minute, carrying a dozen roses and saying, “Hi, babe, can I take you to brunch?” The scenario in my head called for my being oh-so-gracious: “Of course you can, darling” would come out of my mouth in a girlish melody. The problem is, he never came. Not only did he not come. He never called.

I was in a dark zone. Now what would A Course in Miracles say about that? I knew I needed a miracle. But all I could come up with were two choices for ways to deal with this,



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