A New Mourning: Discovering the Gifts in Grief by Georgena Eggleston

Author:Georgena Eggleston [Eggleston, Georgena]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Balboa Press
Published: 2015-06-10T00:00:00+00:00

Discovering The Gift of Feeling Overwhelmed: Persist? Or Recognize and Relax?

Fall 1997

It was a clear, brisk morning in October. I had dropped Reed off in front of the junior high. He was happy, and we had chatted easily on the drive about his upcoming day. We’d said our “I love you”s, and the last thing I remember was his miraculous smile, the one that inevitably amped up my heart-happiness with a bright Ta Dah!

No sooner had I set the planner down on my desk when the phone rang. It was the junior high principal, Lee, calling to say Reed had been in a fight. “But he was so happy when he got out of the car,” I said.

Thankfully, Edward was already on his way.

I would learn shortly after noon what happened as Reed collapsed into my arms with a tearful, “I am sorry, Mom. I am so sorry.”

Part of Reed’s initiation as a starting freshman on the cross country team was to have his head shaved by the upper classmen. The previous day had been his first appearance with this drastic one-of-a-kind look in the junior high. He had sported his bald head with a mix of pride and embarrassment.

After he had shut the car door and walked away from me, halfway up the sidewalk, he was assaulted by the word, “Skinhead!” A skateboard slammed into the back of his skull.

He knew that fighting back against his attacker meant suspension from school. He made a conscious choice not to do so. He pulled his T-shirt up over his head and kept walking toward the door of the cafeteria. The security guard watched as Reed ascended the steps, the skateboarder shouting behind him.

Reed’s friend Zak came around the corner. The skateboarder lunged toward Zak. In that moment, Reed lost all self-control.

Reed slammed his fist into the face of his attacker, defending his friend.

Now, Edward stood by Reed with support. He called our attorney to prepare to press charges against the student attacker. Edward then took Reed to the police station, where he gave his statement to the police.

Yet we never filed those charges. Being understanding and forgiving was just who we were as a family.

As it turned out, Reed was suspended for three days and placed on probation for three months. Each week, we drove him to diversion activities completed with his probation officer.

I held my son that October afternoon as he wept over the news of his suspension. I fixed my eyes on his. “Reed you were attacked. You did not start this. I am so sorry this happened and that you made the choice to fight. I love you.” That time he heard me and felt my supportive presence.

The phone had rung day and night for the next three days. All parents fumed that Reed was suspended, and a few even said the skateboarders just wanted a place to enjoy their sport.

Questioning the school rules, with two of our friends on the school board, Edward had long discussions with the differing groups.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.