A Manual for Heartache by Cathy Rentzenbrink

Author:Cathy Rentzenbrink [Rentzenbrink, Cathy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Picador

Instructions to My Future Self

My dear, my dear,

Somewhere in the future you are in a bit of a pickle. Please accept lots of love. Perhaps something horrible has happened to you or the world or perhaps you are just tired out. It doesn’t matter. The main thing is that you are in a muddle and all of your usual skills and abilities have deserted you. I am here to help.

The first thing I want you to remember is that this is a temporary state of affairs. I know it’s horrible but it won’t last. You’ve been here before and you will survive it this time, like all the others. I promise you that in your future you are glad to be alive.

Now, we are going to reboot.

Here’s what I want you to do:

— Stop drinking alcohol. Don’t waste any time worrying about whether you have to stop drinking forever, just stop drinking now.

— If you have anxiety symptoms, you need to stop drinking caffeine too.

— Stop watching and reading the news and take the Twitter and Facebook apps off your mobile. Turn your laptop and phone off by 7 p.m. and don’t look at them again until morning. No matter what is happening in the world, you won’t serve it by spinning out of control.

— If you are on any kind of diet, stop. The only dietary rule you are allowed to follow is a general aim to drink lots of water, eat lots of vegetables and not have too much sugar. Please try to stop giving yourself a hard time about being lazy or fat or ugly. You’re not.

— Cry. If you don’t want to dwell on events in your own life then read sad books. Give in to tears. Think of it like bleeding a radiator.

— Every morning, first thing, write from your deepest, darkest, most shameful place. Get the things you are most worried about or frightened of down on paper and tell yourself it’s better off out than in.

— Then remember Nancy Mitford, who said that life was often dull and sometimes sad, but there are currants in the cake. Look for the currants. Every day, write down five things you feel grateful for. You won’t want to do this because you won’t feel grateful for anything, but it’s important. It can be simple things like being warm, having clean air to breathe and water to drink, or being able to afford vitamin pills. You could list your friends, or times when people have been kind.

— Read gentle, comforting, funny things.

— Try to be curious and interested in how you feel.

— I know you won’t think you have enough energy to do any of this, but if you can, try to get outside and walk, swim, look up at the sky, do some yoga. That will all help and is especially important in winter.

— Cook. Roast an organic chicken and make stock.

— Be as honest as you can with the people around you.

— Ask for help. Who can help you?

— Try to laugh or, if you can’t do that, feel amused.

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