A Highly Unlikely Scenario, or a Neetsa Pizza Employee's Guide to Saving the World by Rachel Cantor

Author:Rachel Cantor [Cantor, Rachel]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 978-1-61219-265-9
Publisher: Melville House
Published: 2014-01-13T16:00:00+00:00

World peace and that sort of thing

Sally was waiting outside the bathroom.

I have a feeling you’re avoiding me, she said. Her orange-skin gown trembled a bit.

Never, Leonard said. The boy will speak with you, but not at this moment. There are still some things we need to understand.

Let’s take a walk, Sally said, and took their hands. Again, Leonard’s arm tingled from wrist to shoulder, though he was aware that by taking their hands, Sally had separated him from Felix. She led them down a back staircase, through a storeroom, to a back door with a song lock. She released Felix’s hand and stood in front of the lock so they couldn’t see the numbers she keyed in—the song lock played the first few bars of the Sue & Susheela theme song! Leonard was elated; if Felix and he had to leave quickly, this wouldn’t be a problem: harmonic-interval identification was a core subject at Pythagorean boot camp!

Then they were outside in that same courtyard where Leonard had seen the Baconians doing karate kicks. Leonard remembered what Sally had said that morning.

You said the guards are guarding the Voynich. So the manuscript at the library is a fake? Or did you grab it before we came here?

The one at the library is a fake. Peter made it by scrambling a few examples of the Voynich script, which is why Felix saw the letters dance.

Why do you guard it if it’s a fake?

Because they’re watching, obviously. They expect us to guard it.

Maybe you should let them uncode it. Once they realize it’s nothing, maybe they’ll leave you in peace.

They won’t leave us in peace—they’ll know it’s a fake. They may be idiots, but they’re not stupid.

Felix giggled.

Sally smiled at the boy, and Leonard realized it was a beautiful day—all gentle breezes and the like. Sally squeezed his hand and he had to do a five-second Pythagorean meditation to clear his mind.

Can you tell us more about your plans for the manuscript, Leonard asked, once you translate it?

I told you: I want to unite the Baconians and put the Cathars and other pretenders in their place.

You say you want this. Is this what the Baconians want?

I’m their leader, ever since I cracked the first line, Sally said. Dwane was the leader before, when he was progressing with the Brazen Head. The Brazen Head was a preoccupation of Roger Bacon, but not his principal preoccupation. I always said it was a waste of time. Now what I want, they want.

Once you’re reunited and the others are put in their place, what happens?

What do you mean?

Once you master the powers described in the manuscript and achieve your goal of bringing the Baconians together, what then?

I don’t know, Sally said. I suppose I’ll work on world peace, something like that.

Ah, Leonard said.

Sally led them to a picturesque bench under a blossoming pear tree.

You can climb the tree if you like, she said to Felix.

No, thanks, he said.

Sally turned from Felix, and it occurred to Leonard that she’d just tried to get rid of the boy.

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