A Durable Fire by Barbara Keating

Author:Barbara Keating [Barbara & Stephanie Keating]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Random House
Published: 2007-08-02T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 12

Kenya, May 1967

Sarah was awake before dawn. The discord of the previous night had embedded itself in her mind, and her first thoughts made for a bitter start to the day. In the refuge of her bedroom, she had created a physical distance between herself and Hannah. But the harsh words had stayed with her, and she had been too distressed to make an appearance when Mwangi had come to call her for dinner. It had not been long before she heard another knock on the door.

There had been a strained silence, widening the chasm between them. Then Hannah had spoken. ‘Sarah. Ach, Sarah, I’m so sorry. I’ve brought you some sandwiches, and a salve for your hands.’

Sarah had nodded, unable to find any words to say.

‘I can’t deal with anything any more.’ Hannah had sat down on the bed, hiding her face in her hands. ‘I was frantic when it got dark, terrified that something awful had happened to you and Lars. That you would never come back, and Suniva and I would have no one left. No one at all. Then Jeremy found you and I was sick with relief, but angry at the same time. And then Mwangi came to tell me there had been an accident, and I came out on to the verandah, and everyone was laughing at David’s story about the crash, and no one seemed to have thought about me.’ She’d stopped, waiting for Sarah to say something, to reach out a hand in reconciliation. But there had been no gesture.

‘I always get angry when I’m scared. You know that. Maybe it’s the Italian in me. Ma used to be the same way, if I disappeared without telling her where I was going. She’d be convinced I’d fallen into the river or been eaten by a leopard or something, and she’d be livid with me when I came home. It was her way of letting go of the fear. I’m sorry, Sarah, and I can understand why you don’t want to talk to me.’ Her eyes had been pleading. ‘I have to go back to Lars now. He is angry with me too, and he’s right. But I wanted you to know that I love you and I’m sorry. I’ll see you in the morning.’

When she had gone Sarah had sat without moving for a while. Eventually she’d tried to eat something, but it was difficult. Her hands were still smarting in spite of the salve she had smeared on them, and she was aching all over. After a while she had given up on the food and lain down, but she had not been able to sleep. They should have told Hannah where they were going. She had a right to be angry. But the cruelty of her words were indelibly printed into Sarah’s consciousness. She was a guest on the farm, someone who could not be trusted. Not part of the family, not a sister or a treasured friend, as she had always believed.

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