A Certain Hunger by Chelsea G. Summers
Author:Chelsea G. Summers
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: The Unnamed Press
Published: 2020-03-15T00:00:00+00:00
11
Lingua con le Olive
âA kiss is the beginning of cannibalism,â said Georges Bataille, or maybe he didnât. I havenât read the book this quote is supposed to appear in, Erotism: Death and Sensuality, but perhaps I will. I suspect Iâd find it interesting, though I donât know that Batailleâs book would pass the prisonâs censors. Theyâd likely take one look at the title and pull it (while letting far worse tomes slip through the cracks. Weâre allowed twenty-five books of our own here in prison, and they circulate like rumors. Truth be told, most Bedford Hills inmates have terrible literary taste. They love Fifty Shades of Grey and Danielle Steele. Mein Kampf, if you can believe it. The complete works of Stephen King. The Diary of Anne Frankâshe knows about living in close, unsparing quarters with people you donât like; itâs an unsurprising favorite. Flannery OâConnorâs stories, tellingly, have a following. As do Sylvia Plathâs writings, because what con doesnât feel drawn to a melodramatic portrayal of adolescence. If thereâs a single thread that runs through the fabric of the penitentiary, itâs that of arrested development).
Here are a few things Iâve gleaned from being a penitentiary librarian: prisoners love self-help books. They glom on to religious narratives as drowning rats to the flotsam of a sinking ship. Cons do, in fact, judge a book by its cover; an unsympathetic authorâs picture is enough to dissuade a convict from reading it. They are credulous with regard to titles. Most find great disappointment in Of Human Bondage; a very few will, however, enjoy it.
The incarcerated, by and large, read books that comfort them, which makes them not very different from the world outside. Inmates, like conservatives who strictly watch Fox news or liberals who mainline MSNBC, are vested in their own convictions, by which I mean their opinions, not their sentencesâeveryone here is innocent, everyone but me. You never see as many innocent people as you do in prison. Everyone here is stuck in the limbo of their own appeal, buffeted in eternal circles with their arms wrapped around sheaves of legal paper. The bubble-wrap of self-delusion swaddles all convicts; they think theyâre this close to being sprung free. Almost all are wrong. I myself find serenity in accepting my fate. The unapologetically guilty woman sleeps soundly at night.
âIs this fig?â Gil asked, eyeing the slice of torta limone on his plate.
âOf course not, darling,â I said. âItâs quince.â
Gil took a bite, smiled with satisfaction, chewed, swallowed, and immediately put another forkful of torta to his mouth. Two minutes later, his hands around his throat, his breathing ragged, Gilâs face turned red as arterial spray, then the sanguine hue seeped away, and bloomed a mauve, lavender almost. It was interesting to watch Gilâs skin grow a sweaty gloss and a pallid hue. It was like a sunset, but with motion. Gil looked at me with pleading eyes. I have mentioned Gil was allergic to figs, or perhaps I have not.
âEpi!â Gill gasped and reached out his hands in the universal gesture of supplication.
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