You Can’t Do Both by Kingsley Amis

Author:Kingsley Amis [Amis, Kingsley]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

‘Have you been on to this chap?’ Robin asked his brother.

‘That came this morning. I thought I’d have a word with you first. It’s a shock, isn’t it, even if you’ve seen it coming.’

‘How did you manage to see it coming?’

‘I rang, I often ring on a Sunday evening these days to keep in touch. Mum told me Dad had been poorly, and I thought, well, it doesn’t matter what I thought.’

‘Would you like a cup of Mrs Pendry’s coffee, or shall we go to the pub?’

‘I’d say the pub, but will it be open?’

‘They open at ten here. Market town, see.’

In the pub, which was small but otherwise almost empty, Robin fetched pints of bitter. What with his gratuity and the money his college had advanced him against his government grant, he was at any rate less badly off than he had been before the war. But he would have come here for a glass of water to get out somewhere that had people in it, even people like the parsonical landlord or the diminutive fellow from the nearby cabmen’s shelter who was slowly shifting a half of Burton at the other end of the bar. The brothers silently toasted each other.

‘Does this make you wish you hadn’t said all those nasty things about him over the years?’ asked Robin. ‘I know I’ve said them too.’

‘I’ve thought about that,’ said George, accepting a cigarette. ‘Not really, no. I can’t remember them all, of course, but I doubt if I’d feel I ought to withdraw more than a couple of them. Especially not the ones about him being a bloody old Welsh preacher at heart. But none of it seems to matter now. And, well, if it hadn’t been that it’d most likely have been something else.’

‘Yeah. Do we bring Margery into this?’

‘I’ve had time to think about that too, and the answer’s no, or I suppose I mean not yet. I see more of her than you do, and whenever it came to her turn to do anything she’d be too busy with those bloody kids of hers. And I can’t stand that miserable bearded bugger of a husband who always looks as if he’s going to touch you for a fiver even when he conceivably isn’t. We’ll tell them later.’

‘All right. What about Mum?’

‘Well, what about Mum?’

‘This thing the quack said in his letter about it not being a good time to let her know that it’s what it is. I mean, she’ll have to be told sooner or later. I said to Dad last week, it’d be a bloody sight worse for her, suspecting things are being kept from her and wondering what they are. She’s no fool. People in her position aren’t likely to be.’

‘No they’re not. I agree with that.’ Frowning, George looked into space and Robin wondered why on earth he had ever thought his brother looked like his father. ‘Now I imagine we’re in for more of phase one, during which he goes

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