Wondering Who You Are: A Memoir by Sonya Lea

Author:Sonya Lea [Lea, Sonya]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Biography & Autobiography, Literary, Medical, Women, Personal Memoirs, Technology & Engineering, Drafting & Mechanical Drawing
ISBN: 9781941040072
Google: Tbn4rQEACAAJ
Amazon: 1941040071
Publisher: Tin House Books
Published: 2015-07-13T00:00:00+00:00

16

pathless

AFTER WE TELL Richard’s boss he isn’t coming back to work, his treatment program becomes his lifeline. Richard’s days include performing a list of household tasks the occupational therapist has assigned him and reading his anatomy and physiology textbooks. He has a black-vinyl-covered day planner to organize his life. He sets an alarm for taking vitamins, talking to family, doing his homework. He learns to set goals so he can study in small segments without falling asleep. He learns to use the simplest tools he can: the microwave instead of the stove, for example. He starts a load of laundry at 1:00 PM and must write Put clothes in dryer at 2:00 PM, or else he will forget the clothing is there. He doesn’t forget like you and I do. He forgets the clothing exists. He’s learning the activities of daily living, sensory-perceptual skills, communication, and social skills.

Patient has difficulty tracking tasks through to completion, his occupational therapist reports. Initiation and delayed thought-processing skills have been observed in treatment. . . . Compensatory strategies for these skill areas have been introduced to patient but at present he continues to require significant cuing to follow through with tasks.

“Did you start your homework?” I ask.

Richard nods his head. Stares, wide-eyed.

“Eyes.” The constant reminder to come into the culturally acceptable place of the adult.

Richard blinks. Goes back to the blank stare.

“What are you working on?”

“Grocery list.”

“For what?”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you want to know?”

“What do we eat?”

“The assignment. What’s the assignment?”

“Go to the store and buy our food.”

“What do you want to make?”

“I don’t know.”

“Nothing?”

“I don’t know what we eat.”

“How about this. Get some rice and veggies, and then some chicken, and you can make a stir-fry.”

“Okay.” He writes veggies.

“What kind of veggies might you buy?” I ask.

“I don’t know.”

“What about a bag of frozen vegetables? Then you don’t have to make too many decisions.”

He writes bag.

“What else?” I ask.

He shrugs his shoulders. Stares with the big eyes.

“Fuck,” I say under my breath, turning away. I pretend to pick up lint from the floor. Raise up. See him watching me.

“Eyes!” I say, impatiently. He blinks. “I said ‘rice.’”

He looks at me, the question in his hovering pencil.

“Brown rice. Am I supposed to tell you where to find it?”

“No.”

“This assignment is not going so well.”

“No.” He looks up.

“I’ll drive you over. Do you think you can manage going into the store alone?”

He raises his shoulders.

“You’re supposed to do this on your own, right?”

“Yes.”

“You think you can?”

“I can do it.”

After our trip to the store, Richard tries to make dinner by tossing frozen vegetables in a frying pan with soy sauce, but he burns the concoction when he has to stop and make the rice. He hitches up his track pants and looks at me like I’m the mother who’s going to scold him.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

He does everything asked of him. Mostly looking like he’s trying to wake up from a really deep sleep.

Good God, I think. How long is this going to take?

“What else we got on that homework list?” I ask, hoping for something at which he can be successful.

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