Vivian's List (Vol. 1) by Lovell Haleigh

Author:Lovell, Haleigh [Lovell, Haleigh]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Published: 2013-09-11T21:00:00+00:00

Chapter Twelve

Liam

Damn. I ran a shaking hand through my hair. Never had I felt so turned on, so totally aroused by a woman’s orgasm. My cock throbbed in my jeans, pulsing painfully against the restraint of my zipper.

I felt this need, this compulsion to do it over and over and over again.

Make her come against my tongue. Make her come on my hand.

I wanted to bury my cock deep inside her tight little pussy and make her come inside me.

The realization gave me pause.

I was her guardian. I was like a … a brother to her.

A tight muscle pulled at my jaw.

Hell, who was I kidding?

I didn’t want to be anything close to a brother to Viv.

I dragged a hand down my face and tried to master my breathing.

I wanted …

I wanted …

Fuck. I didn’t even know what I wanted anymore.

I stepped out onto the deck and walked up to the weathered railing.

The moon was full and so bright that it swallowed up the night sky.

A stark contrast to my dark and muddled mind.

I placed a cigarette between my lips, reached for my lighter, flicked the wheel and lit it.

My hands shook in the glimmer from the Zippo lighter.

I took a deep drag. Exhaled.

The smoke curled around my trembling hands close to my lips.

Again, my thoughts went to Viv and emotion caught in my throat, prickly and raw.

I shook my head as if I could just shake off the emotion.

Did it help?

Not remotely.

I took another deep drag on my cigarette and exhaled until my lungs were empty.

I tried again.

I wanted … I wanted Vivian’s trust.

I wanted to protect her, make her feel safe.

I wanted to blot out all the pain Brody had inflicted upon her.

I wanted to give her everything she’d been missing in her relationship with Brody—the feeling of security, contentment, and acceptance.

All things she had always unknowingly given to me.

I wanted to make her feel special and let her know she was wanted, needed and desired in so many different ways.

I wanted to make her feel loved.

I wanted her in a way that surpassed sexual need.

I wanted … I wanted her.

Damn. Damn. Damn. I was so fucked.

My own words had come back to bite me. Even though I’d said thing between us, that it’d only be about sex, subconsciously I knew I was only kidding myself.

I couldn’t do it to Viv. I couldn’t make love to her without love.

Sex without intimacy was an empty experience. And she already had that with Brody.

I knew Viv well enough to know that she was a woman who needed not just sex, but intimacy, too, and trust in order to give herself up. To let herself go.

Taking another drag, I leaned my elbows on the railing. By now the tip of my cigarette had wormed back and I lightly tapped it, letting the ashes fall over the deck.

No strings attached sex between friends. No emotions. No expectations. Everything goes back to normal when the sun comes up—that was all just an urban myth.

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