Thunderhead by Miranda Darling
Author:Miranda Darling
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: FIC019000, FIC045000, FIC044000, FIC069000, FIC087000
Publisher: Scribe Publications
Published: 2024-04-03T00:00:00+00:00
Two fathers stand by the sculpture of a large mosaic dragon in the park and urge their toddling daughters on, every moment accompanied by a running commentary, a verbal crocheting of everything a Good Father should say to the daughter he usually only sees on the weekends. You can tell these fathers: they play too loudly with their children in the playground; everything is a novelty, and they are very pleased with their efforts to be Great Dads. I turn away and feel embarrassed for them. I do not want to see their nakedness, the nakedness they are unwittingly revealing to me.
People are never more transparent in their fears and desires than when they talk to their children. But these men are performing talking to their children; this is a mirror within a mirror reflecting back on itself a hundred thousand times. I wince with the intensity of the vision: every emotion they have ever felt, every frustrated dream, and every hope, every sorrow, comes roaring into my brain; every house they lived in, every playground insult â¦
â up you get Sienna, thatâs the girl
No no no rub your hands first
Let daddy help you â watch out
Ooopsie There you go now ⦠SHARE with Paris SHARE SHARE
Good girl here you go monkey have some âtanas â and another one ⦠hahahah GOOD GIRL Sienna
Sienna, lets try the swing Sienna,
oopsie this way Sienna
I wish they would stop. The layers and reflections threaten to drive me mad.
I get up and rub the grass welts on the backs of my thighs. I move away to the shade of another banksia tree, to where a line of tussocks breaks my view of the sea.
Shirawagi
I fight the suspicion that this is not how a person should be. No one else has moved away. Some mothers are smiling a benediction at the two fathers. My boys are playing gorillas in the bush. For now, it is safe to continue thinking. I tell myself nobody has noticed the roaring in my head, and that I should continue writing the guidebook on how a person should be.
I begin:
A person will be what he or she does. From action she will perform being.
I stop and wonder what action ⦠but it is there all around me, the trees whispering Shirawagi.
I continue with greater confidence:
A person must plant a Garden of Wondrous Things. In It, there should be gathered all the barely imagined beings, these liminal creatures who have only thrown shadows on the borders of our consciousness. It should contain the thoughts we have cast away and the ideas that were too frightening to think; It should catalogue every seed and every branch that our lives have offered us â every unborn child, every fork in the road, every hand let go for the very last time. The shards of sunlight would multiply here and dance, creating more shadows for more beings to crouch in. There would be depressions and hollows for things to roll into; there should be
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