The Woman in the White Kimono by Ana Johns

Author:Ana Johns
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Park Row Books
Published: 2019-03-21T18:32:00+00:00

I paced the room, my mind three steps ahead. The woman’s last name was Nakamura and Yoshio found her house. They might still own it. Or maybe not, but if he approached whoever did, they could offer key information. I smiled to myself, giddy from the idea, but then I was stopped by a thought—an interview. I raked my hand through my hair, leaving it there.

I’d have to present myself under the guise of being interested in the property and its history and use the pseudonym I wrote under. No need to unload my father’s past unless it was required. If it were the same family living in that house, would they even talk to me? What would I say to the woman? How would I even begin to explain? Had she told her daughter about Pops?

I dropped my hand and straightened.

While I’d been digging for truths within my father’s life, I never expected to confront them, nor had I considered what it meant to mine.

I might find my sister.

Would she look like Pops? I had his thick dark hair that curled in the humidity, and although my eyes weren’t as translucent, they were also light blue. Were hers? Unlikely, but she might have his dimpled chin and angular jaw. She might even resemble me.

I paced again. A mindless walk through imagined scenarios and possibilities. While I was playing catch with Pops in the backyard, or running through a sprinkler to dive onto a slip-’n-slide, what was she doing? Did she have birthday parties and go on family road trips? Did she have a good life?

I never went without, because my father as a child often had. As an adult, he’d insisted Mama spend a small fortune every week on groceries. I remembered our pantry, fridge and an extra freezer in the basement always stocked and overflowing because “his” child would never go hungry. She was also Pops’s child, so had she? They might be angry at him and resent me. My jaw clenched. They might have good reason to.

Let them. I unpinned the last item from the wall—my father’s letter. Unlike my father, who looked up from Blue Street and saw his future in the girl’s eyes, I’d stare into hers and hand her the envelope that held my father’s past. Then she’d know the regret in his heart by reading his words. Maybe that was what Pops wanted from me.

I turned the letter over in my hands. Had I known what secrets it contained, how they would reshape and color my view of the world, of my father, would I have opened it? I opened it now and reread his words. In loving you, I’ve never had a single regret. But in losing you? In the how and the why? So many.

I was still waiting for my father’s military records, but those might only offer a confirmation of marriage. I already had the marriage document, the letter, a name and, soon, the address, so what else did I need?

The how and the why.

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