The Wicked Confessions Of Lady Cecelia Stanton (novella) by Viveka Portman

Author:Viveka Portman
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780857991096
Publisher: Escape Publishing

Chapter 6

Monday 12th July 1813

The days went quickly with my husband returned. I spent as many hours in the bed as out of it, such was my husband’s appetite.

When William left the house for reasons of commerce, society or hunting, I would seek out Bess. The pretence of tutelage in the pleasurable arts that we had long used to excuse our bed-play had been abandoned.

I confess here and now, I took pleasure in Bess and she took pleasure in me. But our love was not exclusive and we both knew this. If truth be told, I was also under no illusion that she also had male admirers and lovers. Surprisingly perhaps, unlike my discomfort with my husband’s whoring, Bess’s relations with other men did not bestir ill-will. I would not begrudge her male attention. How could I when I so frequently indulged in my husband’s passion? All intrigue aside, I knew one true fact – in William’s absence, Bess had become more to me than just maid or a lover. Her affection for me, and mine for her, extended well beyond illicit meetings, and the perfunctory acts our roles in society had us play. She had in some sense filled the role left empty by my husband, she had become my companion and confidante in all things. Yet it was undeniable that whilst William was in residence, she became more subdued, deferring her position to William and remaining my maid cum lover. At times she seemed no more than a passing shadow in the night. I suspected she found William’s presence in the Hall trying, as I could not accept her so frequently into my bed, nor sleep beside her. Still, my gentle Bess ever guided me, offered sage advice, loved and cherished me when opportunity allowed – and I shall forever adore her for it.

During these times, when I had William and Bess both in residence, I felt most at peace with my lot. Call me wanton or wicked, but to have the love of a man such as William and a woman such as Bess made me rich beyond worldly goods.

Alas my happiness was short-lived, for within four months I found myself with child once more.

Again, my memories of this time are tainted with grinding sickness and the depressing knowledge that my husband would leave me to seek his release with the whores of London. To give William his due, he lasted somewhat longer on this occasion, but by the time I was well into my confinement, he had returned to London.

A pattern damnably repeated with every successive child.

When in the family way for my third and fourth children, I tried most ardently to disabuse William of the misguided notion that his attentions upon me would harm the babe. I knew from the acts I partook in with Bess that no amount of vigorous attention to my sex would cause the child harm. I even tried to convince the physician as such, though he paid me no heed.

‘You

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