The Vegas Diaries: Romance, Rolling the Dice, and the Road to Reinvention by Holly Madison

Author:Holly Madison [Madison, Holly]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2016-05-17T07:00:00+00:00

I WAS HAVING A blast shooting the show and reveling in my good fortune. But just as every cloud has a silver lining, everything good comes with a price. While I was living my dream, working on both of the projects I had wished for and living a life of luxury with the most fun group of friends I could imagine, I was neglecting my body. I worked hard and played even harder. When I was going through the chronic sinus infections, I refused to miss a show or a minute of filming. My diet left much to be desired. I wasn’t exercising and had to make a real effort to get adequate sleep. My nerves were frayed. It was only a matter of time before something had to give.

I loved my life and all the opportunities I was getting. I never complained about anything. But not taking care of myself was taking its toll and was slowly sneaking up on me. The waters were rising higher and higher behind the dam, and that dam eventually broke.

I was in my bedroom getting ready to shoot a scene with Angel and my manager, Jason. We had only a few minutes to do it, as I would have to go straight downstairs to the theater afterward. I knew Angel and Jason were ready to shoot; I had seen them sitting at my dining table as I walked in, talking about Angel’s upcoming World’s Largest 21st Birthday Party at Tao. I knew the crew was there, too, and had touched base with them before going into my room. When I walked through the door, I expected everyone to be ready to go. Time was money and we were on the clock.

But they weren’t. Laptop in hand, I walked out of my bedroom door and not one camera was up. The field producer that day was someone new. “Hey, what’s going on?” I asked. “I thought we had to get this scene wrapped really quickly.” The producer rolled his eyes and slowly stood up.

“Okay, we’ll be ready for you in about five minutes,” he grumbled, with the enthusiasm of a sloth.

Let me be clear: this was an anomaly. The entire crew of Holly’s World had been more than a dream to work with, and I became close friends with many of them. They didn’t devise the plot to get Benji on-camera; they were just following orders. They were always fun, creative, and professional. The rude reaction from this new member was the last thing I expected. All of a sudden, all of my stifled emotions flooded me at once. I went back into my room and promptly called a higher-up to let him know that we were on an incredibly tight schedule and the new person in charge that day hadn’t been ready. The tears were flowing uncontrollably, and I think the man on the other end of the line was a little taken aback by what probably seemed to him like a massive overreaction.

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