The Smile on the Face of the Pig by John Bull

Author:John Bull
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Journalism, 1950s, Reporter, Memoir, Social History, Hampshire
ISBN: 9781909183117
Publisher: Andrews UK Limited 2012
Published: 2012-12-11T00:00:00+00:00

In fact the Railton was nearly 20 feet long, which was about nine inches longer than the Rolls Royce driven by the local chairman of magistrates, Col. Barrell. Roger used to take a delight in lining our Railton up alongside his in the court car-park.

Roger argued to the farmer down to ninety quid for the car and then did a deal with me and Jim Rudd. We were supposed to chip in for the petrol, which cost 2s 6d a gallon. From then on we gave up any idea of competing. We went everywhere together, especially in our leisure hours when we toured the pubs with our new toy.

Roger explained: “Let’s co-operate on all the regular diary stuff, and share stories from police calls - if we keep back one story a day as an exclusive, no-one can say we’re not competing.”

It worked wonderfully for the best part of two happy years. Though I often wondered how we managed to get away with it.

One of my exclusives, much to the annoyance of my ‘partners’, was the discovery that sailors at the navy training base at HMS Collingwood, near Fareham, were running a very successful pig farm as a sideline. I went along expecting to find a solitary sow in some mucky shed at the back of the base - incidentally the largest navy shore establishment in the UK. Instead I found several truly happy porkers living in pig heaven - with custom-built quarters, all spotlessly shipshape and Bristol fashion.

“What did you expect? The Royal Navy sets a high standard,” Collingwood’s first lieutenant haughtily told me as he showed me round.

“Headline: England expects that our pigs are the happiest pigs,” I suggested.

He sighed: “If you must....”

There was a silence at this point and my reporter’s sixth sense told me there was more to the tale. So I inquired how long they’d had the pigs. He decided to come clean. It wasn’t just these porkers - Collingwood turned out to have one of the most flourishing farms in the district and, just like any other Hampshire farmers, they were rearing livestock and growing all kinds of crops. The farm had been in business since it was started as a wartime ‘Dig for Victory’ campaign in 1941. The livestock went direct to a slaughterhouse under a long-running contract, but their crops were sold on the market, save for the several tons of potatoes they supplied direct to the navy.

My story made quite a splash under the heading:

HMS Collingwood Brings Home the Bacon

Mind you, Her Majesty’s Royal Navy came unstuck when they ran into the equally enterprising Jim Rudd, Roger Beardwood and me in full chase of a story. Jim was loafing about in the Victoria pub in Lee-on-the-Solent (a popular navy hangout near the Fleet Air Arm base HMS Daedalus), chatting up the barmaid.

“Lot of Wrens coming in for sandwiches and snacks last couple o’days,” she said idly. “Has the navy stopped feeding ‘em, or something?”

Jim’s antennae went onto full alert: savvy enough

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