The Other Side A Memoir (N) by Lacy M. Johnson

Author:Lacy M. Johnson
Language: eng
Format: mobi
ISBN: 9781935639848
Publisher: Tin House Books
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Meanwhile, I try to have an affair with one of my married colleagues. He starts it, I swear, by looking at me in that hungry, awkward way, saying vaguely inappropriate things that I roll around in my head for hours, trying to understand what he could mean. Increasingly, I stay after class to “study.” I sit in his office while he paces, his hands in his pockets, insisting he can’t, he can’t.

I cross and uncross my legs, begging to differ.

If we meet off campus, it’s over coffee—so benign—and in bookstores or libraries. Sometimes he agrees to meet me but then never actually comes. While I wait, in the highest, farthest reaches of the library, I imagine him fucking me, frantic and rough against a stack of musty books. I check them out as souvenirs and bring them back to the apartment, hoping My First Husband finds them.

He doesn’t even notice.

He starts humping me in his sleep. I make him sleep in the spare bedroom as punishment. Each night, I hear him whimpering and think of beating him with a rolled-up newspaper.

I can never bring myself to do it.

When he gets drunk at a cookout and pushes me to the ground in front of all of my friends, I kick him out of the apartment. I pack his clothes and CDs into boxes and file for divorce. I cut off all my hair and send him my ponytail through certified mail.

I tell myself I’ll never speak to him again.

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