The Lotus and the Storm by Lan Cao

Author:Lan Cao
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Penguin Group US
Published: 2014-07-14T16:00:00+00:00

14

Tet on the Perfume River

MR. MINH, 2006, 1968

I lock onto Mai’s longan-black eyes, round pupils that linger on my face. A charged current runs through me. That is all it takes, a pair of wide, inquisitive eyes. My child, I declare silently, a sharp hope rising erratically in my chest.

She struggles to prop me up, one arm behind my neck, the other under my knees, returning me to a more upright position.

In a low voice, she says, “I am grateful you are able to help Aunt An, but where does the money come from?” She stares at me with an expression both imploring and suspicious.

“I can’t tell you but it’s okay. It’s nothing wrong or illegal.”

“I don’t understand why it should be such a secret, then.”

“I won’t let her default,” I assure Mai, who continues to eye me with a degree of uncertainty.

She sighs and leaves a basket of subscription meals she ordered for me on the table before kissing me good-bye.

The day is darkening. Thick clouds hang ponderously above the evergreens that I can see from my window. Mrs. An has finished her shift early. I am eager to have her with me. For many months now, my life has been defined by a sense of continuing emergency. By some mysterious combination of fate and plain old cussedness, I have somehow survived the vicissitudes of war and life. I see the horizon ahead. I don’t share this with Mrs. An or with my daughter. It seems private somehow, this dawning realization that life is short and the days are dwindling. What I want is to make sure that Mrs. An knows about Tet. It marked the moment we began to lose the war, even though we’d won the battles. More important to me, Tet also marked the moment life split and splintered for us. I am tormented and beset by the fear that the truth about my child won’t be fully known. I want Mrs. An to know so she can understand Mai and tend to her. To understand Mai, you have to understand Tet.

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