The Golden Boy by Grant Matheson

Author:Grant Matheson [Matheson, Grant]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781927502952
Publisher: Acorn Press
Published: 2017-01-15T05:00:00+00:00

From “Dancer”

The first thing I did when I got to Homewood was check myself right back out again. Eleven minutes after I got there, I was gone. I ended up somehow talking myself into turning back around, but I was a reluctant patient.

I met Grant when I was outside having a cigarette. I had a pretty awful attitude around recovery and I did not want to be there. I recall saying something like, “Well, I know I’m not a doctor, but…,” and he said, “Well, I am.”

That kind of woke me up a bit, that there was a doctor there at rehab right alongside me.

We were both in such bad shape that we weren’t allowed to leave the grounds, so we got to know each other pretty well, right off the hop.

Grant quickly became my person. I could relate to him because there were no other IV drug users there at the time. And for some reason, I trusted him. I had a real problem with authority. My IV drug use started after I was raped by a police officer. I had no trust for any sort of authority figure, including the staff at Homewood. But I trusted Grant.

He was the only person I would open up to.

I’m not sure what it was about him. He was a genuine person. He cared about people. He listened. I was used to people preaching at me. But Grant listened. He made me feel like a whole person. Not a junkie or a body part. He made me feel like I was a whole person and not just the things I had done. He used to make sure I would eat. He would take me out for coffee. He held the door open. He made me feel like I could be part of society again.

Grant helped me to remember the person I was before I got in trouble with drugs. He helped me to feel normal for the first time in a very long time. Before I met Grant, I forgot that there were good people in the world.

That being said, I didn’t have a clear head at the time. And I was so used to men wanting something from me that I almost didn’t trust his kindness. I was waiting to find out what he was going to want in return for being a friend to me. That never happened, but I was waiting for it.

I knew Grant was going to beat his addiction and I hated him for it. To be honest, he just seemed to want to get clean more than anyone else in the place. He was willing to put in the work and I wasn’t.

I left the program early. I was asked to leave, and I agreed it wasn’t the right time for me to be there. Grant almost helped me to see that. He’d said that you can’t change until you’re ready to change. He always believed in me, and that I would get well when the timing was right.

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