The Book of Joshua by Jennifer Anne Moses

Author:Jennifer Anne Moses [Moses, Jennifer Anne]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780299319588
Publisher: University of Wisconsin Press

It was only six miles to the George Washington Bridge, nothing for me, not in the shape I was in. From there I could take a subway. She’d have to talk to me. I just had to see her. I had to see her to tell her that I loved her. I had to tell her that one day we’d be married, me and her, that we were destined to be together.

I loved her so much.

I started down Mystic Street, turned the corner onto Bellevue, then Church Street, then Linden Avenue, then on and on, I didn’t even have to look at any map or any street signs, my feet knew where to go, and the air was chilled and damp and cold, the snow falling in time to my heart beat, my blood pumping perfectly, perfectly into my temples, into my synapses, into my feet, and I felt like I was flying, it was almost like one of those flying dreams, except I was awake, and I was running, running toward Sophie.

There were almost no cars on the streets. Just parked cars, and lit-up houses, lit-up windows, lit-up Christmas displays. It was just me and the falling snow and the black branches and the parked cars.

As I approached the GW Bridge from above, I saw the river lying low and elegantly, all gray and shimmering, a long satin ribbon, a perfect pool of still gray quietude, and the red taillights of cars going east and the white headlights of cars coming west, and then there was the city itself, rearing up, and the bridge, with its swooping sails of steel ropes.

I was down on the bridge itself then, running past the cars the trucks the taxis the vans the bleating beeping red and white lights disappearing in the snow, I could fly right off the bridge but I knew I couldn’t. I was running I wasn’t a bird I was a boy but I had wings on my feet—

And right there I saw it: The Face of God. Only He didn’t have a face, not a human face, anyway. He didn’t have eyes, or a nose, or a mouth, or a chin or hair or ears. But I knew that the shimmering light I saw before me was God. I just knew it. And I stopped.

“You are my Beloved.”

But he said no more, and as I stood there, the snow blowing in my face, I knew He wanted to tell me something else, but that He was waiting for me, that I had to ask Him.

“WHAT?”

The wind blew.

“WHAT IS IT YOU WANT ME TO DO?”

The traffic blundered by, a roar and a whoosh and a grimy growl.

“Fly, my darling,” the voice said. “Fly over the water.”

Ah—the river and the bridge and the city. The perfection of it all. The bliss. I took a step forward. And I saw that the bridge was an illusion, and the air around it was an illusion, and I myself was an illusion, as all of us were part of the great cosmos, the great mind of the universe.

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