Tchaikovsky: The Man and his Music by Brown David

Author:Brown, David [Brown, David]
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780571260935
Publisher: Faber & Faber
Published: 2010-12-22T05:00:00+00:00

Hardly had I appeared than she threw herself on my neck and began repeating endlessly that she loved only me in the whole world, that she could not live without me, that she agreed to any conditions I made as long as I would live with her, and so on. I cannot tell you in detail the whole succession of scenes with which she tormented me for at least two hours. I tried, with as much composure as I could muster, to explain to her that, however blameworthy I might be in respect of her, and however much I might wish her every happiness – yet under no circumstances would I ever agree to live with her. I confess it cost me an incredible effort of self-control not to tell her of the feelings of loathing she instils in me. Of course during all this she, as always, suddenly digressed, and began to enlarge on the craftiness of my relatives who had such a pernicious influence upon me in the matter, and then spoke of my music for Onegin , which she finds superb. Then again tears, protestations of love, and so on. I asked her to cut short her declaration and think over for several days all I had said to her, after which she would receive from me either a letter or else a personal meeting in Moscow. Meanwhile I handed her the extraordinary sum of one hundred roubles for the return journey to Moscow. At this she suddenly became as happy as a child, recounted to me several instances of men who had been in love with her during the winter, and expressed a wish to see my twin brothers, who appeared, and whom she showered with expressions of affection and protestations of love despite the fact that for half an hour she had been calling them her enemies. As she said goodbye she asked me where we would see each other as though she supposed that I was longing for meetings with her. I had to say that I could not see her while here, and I requested her to go off to Moscow today, which she promised to do.

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