So Many Books, So Little Time by Sara Nelson

Author:Sara Nelson [Nelson, Sara]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781440627781
Publisher: PENGUIN group
Published: 2010-04-15T04:00:00+00:00

June 22

A Million Little Pieces

Things have not been good here.

Last night, Leo and I had a terrible Fight, the kind of Fight we don’t have too often anymore, I won’t tell you the details, but it started over something very minor and escalated fast. Words were used, by me and more loudly by him, the kind of words that Charley gets a quarter for every time we speak them, which thankfully doesn’t include this time because he was already asleep.

After he screamed at me for a couple of minutes that of course seemed much longer, I went down to my office and I cried and I called a friend and I complained and I whined but because she is a good Friend and because she has heard all of this before, she didn’t give me Advice, she just listened.

I was so keyed up and exhausted and mad and sad I didn’t think I was going to be able to do anything but talk and cry but somehow after she and I hung up the phone I managed to pick up the book I’d been reading which was A Million Little Pieces, about a twenty-three-year-old guy who wakes up on a plane without any idea how he got there. He has four missing teeth and a hole in his cheek and he’s pouring blood from every orifice and during every bodily function and he doesn’t know who put him there or where he’s going but it turns out he is going to a rehab center in Minnesota and his book is a stream-of-consciousness story of the time he spent there and the struggle he goes through to first decide whether he wants to get better and see his twenty-fourth birthday or whether he would rather just let what he calls the Fury take over him. The Fury is the little voice inside him, he says, that turns into a roar and tells him to drink and smoke crack and turn violent. The Fury has been with him all his life, but as he goes through rehab he insists on not being a victim and not buying into all that twelve-step, addiction-is-a-disease bullshit and he insists to his Parents who are nice upper-middle-class people who love him but have never known how to deal with him and to the Counselors at the Hospital that he is going to get straight without all of that traditional crap in other words on his own terms. And apparently he manages it because at the end of this book when he tells you what happened to all the people he met there including the young crack-addicted whore he was in love with he also tells you that he has not relapsed and it has been almost ten years. It is an amazing Book that is written in this run-on style with weird Capitalizations and Punctuation that is annoying at first but which you sort of forget about after a while but which I suddenly appreciate is hard to pull off.

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