Serial Killer's Soul by Herman Martin

Author:Herman Martin [Martin, Herman]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Midpoint Trade Books
Published: 2010-03-20T11:00:00+00:00

Twelve

Dahmer’s Private Hell

I live in terror now. They hold me in contempt and my prosperity has vanished as a cloud before a strong wind. My heart is broken. Depression haunts my days. My weary nights are filled with pain as though something were relentlessly gnawing at my bones. All night long I toss and turn, and my garments bind about me. God has thrown me into the mud. I have become as dust and ashes. (Job 30:15-19, TLB)

Tuesday, March 3, 1992.

Units 1 and 2 remained on lockdown. That meant yet another non-social breakfast in a bag. After breakfast, Jeff got his medication and an officer brought the cart with shaving equipment. When the officer collected the razors, he inspected the blades to make sure all were still intact. Jeff, being new, likely didn’t even know the razors were inspected.

At 11 a.m., officers brought our mail. Stacks of mail, all for Dahmer, filled one entire table in the cafeteria.

At 11:30 a.m., lunch was served. Jeff ate everything on his tray.

After lunch, the psychologist came to talk to Dahmer. He told him that they’d be setting up a regular weekly visit.

Between noon and 2:30 p.m., inmates received items they had ordered from the prison store. When you’re in Desegregation Unit 2, you can only order items from the canteen on Fridays, and since Dahmer came to the unit on Monday, he had to wait all week for that privilege.

We watched TV for the rest of the afternoon, with the exception of Dahmer, who wasn’t allowed any electronics. In this unit, the only hope you had of leaving your cell during the day was if you had a scheduled appointment or a visitor.

There was the usual security shift change at 2:30 p.m., the 4 p.m. inmates’ standing count, followed by supper. While collecting the supper trays, an officer brought Dahmer his medication. Once again, I saw that Dahmer had eaten everything on his tray. The man had an appetite. I, on the other hand, did not. I couldn’t bring myself to eat much. A lot was going through my mind and my appetite suffered.

At 8 p.m. an officer brought requested supplies to the tier. He also collected any letters the inmates needed mailed. At 9 p.m. there was another standing count.

That night when things were quiet, I decided to ask Dahmer more questions. There was just so much I wanted to know and I couldn’t help but ask him. There were many things about him I actually understood, like compulsion, anger, and addiction. I understood fear, hate, and desire. I knew there were similarities between us, similarities between all the inmates here. Every inmate, in my opinion, gave in to our desires; we all had a general lack of self restraint. But there were so many other things he did that were beyond my level of comprehension. Things he did were downright disturbing and gruesome and criminal, even from a criminal’s standpoint.

It wasn’t that I just wanted to pick his brain and ask about his crimes or try to examine his psyche.

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