Scarred Hearts by Helen Wilder

Author:Helen Wilder [Wilder, Helen]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-04-28T16:00:00+00:00

Victoria

There’s that millisecond, between asleep and consciousness, when the eyes first open and everything seems fine and perfect before the brain completely wakes up and reality rushes in and everything in reality that has to be faced overwhelms you. I wish I could stay in that tiny moment of those few milliseconds and not deal with today, not go through the ordeal of funeral preparations for my mother. I wake up alone in my bed. Sitting up, I pull the sheet up with me over my naked body and look around the room. Although nothing is out of place, the soreness between my legs tells me last night wasn’t a dream. I wonder if Jordan left already without saying anything, when he walks in carrying a large mug. He’s barefoot with untamed hair, smiling at me with his dimple evident on his face, and he’s already dressed in yesterday’s clothes. He comes and sits on the edge of my bed, placing the cup on the side table. He’s still here. My eyes roam over his muscular chest and handsome face worrying if there will be any awkwardness between us this morning, but I find none.

“Hey, you’re awake. I thought you might need that.” The smell of tea fills my nostrils. I would always drink tea when I was feeling unwell. I suppose this is his way of trying to be supportive when he must feel so helpless, and the tears begin all over again.

“She’s really gone.” I weep into his chest as he holds me. So much did I wish it to be nothing but a nightmare I could wake up from.

“I know, baby. I’m sorry. I can’t imagine how difficult this is for you, but I do know she loved you very much and was super proud of you.” He always says the right things to make me feel a touch better. Now I also have to deal with the fallout of my actions from last night too. We need to be adults about what we did. With teary eyes, I glance up at him as I grip the sheets tightly to my chest.

“Last night shouldn’t have happened. It was a mistake. I know I told you I wasn’t going to regret it, but you’re married and I’ve become the other woman. I used you to hide from my grief, and I’m sorry.”

He holds my head forcing me to look at him.

“Last night was not a mistake. The only mistake was us being apart for three years and I believe I was just as much a willing participant. Listen to me, do you remember Anthony?” I nod, “He’s drawn up divorce papers for me which I have already filed. I’ve moved out and hopefully soon I’ll be free from the disaster that was my life.”

“You have?” Is he being serious right now?

“I have. I don’t love her, I love you and you are not the other woman, you have always been the only woman. Tell me honestly, do you regret last night?”

“I should, but, no.

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